Do you feel you need more interaction in your life, or less? If you want to cut back, why?
In college, I was pretty much a loner. I was not comfortable or confident enough to make friends but I enjoyed doing things solo--attending cultural events, reading, taking long walks. I was pretty happy but not socially nourished.
After college I slowly learned how to build friendships. Now I have so many that I am so thankful for! And I love keeping up those connections and staying busy, so most of my nights are full.
Since Dday, the nights with my exWBF were replaced with nights with friends--no downtime at all, just distraction, commiseration, company. As time has gone on I've realized I need more solo decompression to process (now that it won't just crush me to be left alone with it). I'm stepping back from going out when I feel emotionally overwhelmed. And I'm trying to be more financially self-sufficient which I'm realizing will mean saying 'no' more in favor of not doing x or y or z activity that would involve spending money.
I feel like I'm re-evaluating some things and searching for that delicate balancing point, and am curious about where others are on this journey.
Some days I really want to cut back, it gets exhausting and I can't keep up with housework. Then I think, am I going to wish I had more time for laundry on my death bed? Seriously though, I'm rather petrified to cut back. What if I do and it's feast or famine?
I have high traits of introversion and extroversion. I'm probably an extroverted introvert as I thrive in social settings, have a ton of friends and acquaintances, talk to random strangers, etc., but also love nothing more than curling up with a book or knitting a scarf in front of the TV. I recharge by being alone, but I also crave human interaction.
When I was married, I almost never did anything as he had no friends and hated everyone so never wanted to go in public. For a bit, I was totally making up for lost time. There were months that would go by where I would have something going on every day after work and 1-3 things each weekend day. Perhaps I was running away from something, but I see it as finally being free and making up for lost time.
I still sometimes have a hard time saying no to invitations because things sound so exciting!
But I realize that I (and my parrots) do best when I have a couple of nights at home after work. I have consciously trying to make this happen for the past few months.
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
I do have very good friends, but they live several hours away. I'm closer now than I was out west, but I only see them every few months. I work essentially alone I'm a supervisor and only my staff are working during the hours I'm there, so no chance to make friends at work. Several people have piqued my interest at meetups, but they're much younger, so I don't have a lot of hope there.
I'm OK with this most of the time, so that's a plus.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
That being said I think you stretch a bit and see. I am one of those who are socially active but an introvert. It depends on how you get energized.
I am trying to cut back because I am tired. Decide for you- you will know trust me
Now I just have new groups of friends that have been added to my calendar- a group of single ladies all newly divorced in my neighborhood get together to go dancing once every month or so. We do lunches sometimes too.
And now that I am dating someone, I am super busy All The Time. The only difference is now I actually go out with my SO- whereas before the Doosh never wanted to go do anything that wasn't "his" thing.
Love my new life so much more, I feel so much more fulfilled even though I am always on the go. :)