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Newest Member: MistersMommy (46014)

User Topic: Stupid things my WS says-all welcome
deena04
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My spouse is trying, but really doesn't get it sometimes. Is this a fog or ignorance or what? Things he says:
1. Him-We will be fine. Trust in us.
Me- uh, trust. Ya that is gone!

2. Him-(after asking him how he'd feel is the roles were reversed) I would try to figure out how I let you do that.
Me- I didn't let you do anything! You chose this path.

3. Him- don't you trust me at all?
Me- no!

4. Him-give me a chance.
Me- did that...

5. Him- I am trying so hard and doing all of these things for you so you see how much I love you.
Me- it doesn't erase what happened and you need to help yourself, too.

And my favorite...him-I was sick after I stopped and realized what I was doing. I thought we were breaking up and that is the moment I knew I wanted to marry you. I decided then I needed to tell you what I did and propose to you.
Me- you never did tell me. I found out. However, you proposed and I married you. If you would have done both and told me and proposed in the same breath, I would still be laughing at you for thinking I was dumb enough to say yes. Who does that?

Anyhow, any other silly or stupid remarks from anyone to add to it or is my husband the only one like this. I could think of many more if I tried I am sure. Ugh!


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G ME

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Dec 2013
Uhtred
♂ 40392
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like your first 4. I've heard them too. I always get the line "if you give me 1 chance I promise you won't regret it. I never respond to it but I want to say that I did give 1 chance the day we got married and you totally blew it.

I gave her so many chances during the affair to stop hurting me and it took me finding out on my own for all of this to stop.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 633 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
lilacs40
♀ 31314
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This just happened today.

Him: funny how telling the truth finally is the nail in the coffin.

Me: no heartbreaking and scary that you think after weeks of lying I should reward you because you finally told the truth.

Him: I don't talk to her about personal stuff but I get your point.

I spent about an hour crying.


I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 395 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I'm not going to tell you the truth because you'll just use it against me!" Oh yes, he just said this saturday.
It will be the main issue at MC on Monday...,


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5742 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
deena04
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to see it's not just me.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G ME

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Dec 2013
soloney
♀ 42621
Member # 42621
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't tell you the truth because I was protecting you"

umm yeah, more like protecting yourself


Posts: 84 | Registered: Feb 2014
SadInNC
♀ 42170
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I decided then I needed to tell you what I did

My WH will say shit like this way too often and then my response is:

no. You. DIDN'T! You never TOLD me, you delusional, fuckng liar! I found secret emails, remember?

DUMBASS


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 345 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
mainlyinpain
♀ 39134
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"When you heard me say on the VAR that I knew a way she could make me laugh, I didn't mean sex, I meant she could tickle me."

Yeah right, Elmo.


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 520 | Registered: Apr 2013
kiki1
♀ 37184
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i dont think you know how much i love you.

nope, its a guessing game to me

sadinnc-you say it just like i do


Posts: 701 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
womaninflux
♀ 39667
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I asked him why he lied to me when I first confronted him about the affair when I suspected it long before (as in 2 years) I had actual proof...he said he lied "for obvious reasons." Hmmm...well at the time, it wasn't all that obvious to ME.

When I would ask him why he wasn't coming home on a week night until 4 in the morning he would say he was in his parked car "sobering up." That inspires confidence that I am not married to a total asshole.


BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 910 | Registered: Jun 2013
FixYou71
♀ 42654
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow you guys, these are all so pathetic. They literally sound like children.


BS: 43
H: 49
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 18
Married 1993

Posts: 530 | Registered: Mar 2014
scangel3
♀ 36164
Member # 36164
Default  Posted: 1:25 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

one of my wh's many stupid quotes:

"Why should I love you, when you don't love me?"

Me: Ugh I didn't fuck someone else and "fall in love" with someone else, you have no reason to not love me!!!

Yes that was his excuse to still not loving me after the A had been over for about 2 years, right before walking into my moms birthday dinner. Needless to say, I did NOT speak to him during dinner or after.

Another one that was just a couple of months ago:

Me: Why do you want to stay together?
(he is adamant that we will be fine and should stay together)

Him: "because of our history"

Me: Really our history? That's all you got, your trying to save a marriage with "history" that involves multiple lies, you walking out on your family and you having a full blown A with OW and were going to leave me and your kids for her? Really history??? Where was that history when I was sick with PPD when you stopped loving me and then you started your A?

Him: "we still have been married for 10 years, that's history"

UGH!!!

[This message edited by scangel3 at 1:28 AM, April 10th (Thursday)]


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you heard me say on the VAR that I knew a way she could make me laugh, I didn't mean sex, I meant she could tickle me."

Yeah right, Elm

Omg, Elmo


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5274 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:13 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After weeks of me trying to get the truth and suspecting.it was still going.on he said
I think you want me to f**k her so you can say you were right, cuz you always have to be right.

Well guess what, I was right...again


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5274 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
sunvalley
♀ 42952
Member # 42952
Default  Posted: 3:21 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

soloney - I heard that exact line for about 2m til TTs all came out...I said it over and over again, you are protecting yourself!!!

my favorite was
"who do you trust more, her or me?"
I laughed and said "neither of you|"
(Turns out he was the one telling the trust on this specific issue, but I'm still proud how I answered at the time :) )


Dday July 2013
Me: BW mid 30s
Him: WH mid 30s
4PAs, multiple online As

Posts: 767 | Registered: Mar 2014
Lowlow
♀ 38653
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 4:14 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get a variation of what Solonely gets

"I didn't tell you the truth because I was protecting you"
umm yeah, more like protecting yourself

Mine says "who would want to talk about something that hurts you so much? I'm just trying to protect you."

Um ya. If you were so concerned about hurting me, why would you engage in a two year affair? I mean seriously. The conflict avoidance that my WS uses to deal with anything and everything may just be the real deal breaker in our marriage. Because not talking about anything really sets the groundwork for a healthy relationship. If we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist and it eventually goes away.....


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (LTA EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 256 | Registered: Mar 2013
TheBestMe
♀ 39476
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 4:53 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H has said the dumbest things before, during and since...

This is the most recent after donkey tried to break NC.

H "Just let sleeping dogs lay"

M "I haven't had a good nights sleep in nearly a decade. I'm going to wake that bitch up"


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 508 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
Sadmumma
♀ 42192
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HIM: you should go out and F someone else

Me: W the actual F did you just say??

This was on D day... prior to me showing him the door.

Cos I'm sure "you did it too" is a great reason to stay together

Edited to add: he actually smiled when he said that, like he was proud of his idea???

[This message edited by Sadmumma at 6:44 AM, April 10th (Thursday)]


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
mchercheur
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH: "I'm not a cheater."

me: "But you cheated."

WH: "Yes, I made one little mistake, but I am not a cheater."

*********************************************

WH: "OW is SO NICE."

me: "Nice girls don't try to destroy families."

********************************************

WH: " All of the guys at work wanted to 'do her'. Can you believe that out of all the guys at work, she chose me?"

[This message edited by mchercheur at 7:16 AM, April 10th (Thursday)]


Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 7 mo. PA with COW;
Married 20something years with kids
Trying to R

Posts: 1464 | Registered: Dec 2012
deena04
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes mine will say that I am better off without him. I agree with him. He shuts up then.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G ME

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 41
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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