SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

swb32cox posted 4/9/2014 21:03 PM

Sorry for another post.

But I have discovered an answer to a question that I was looking for for a long time, and why I came to this forum
wwwswampthing-chadc0613.blogspot.com/

everything this gentleman says about his WS is true about mine. too many similarities to be coincidental.

I had made up a kind of flow chart from A to E about ADULTERY history.

A - Terrible overbearing religious upbringing of WW.
B - UNKNOWN
C - Serial Adultery, alcohol, drugs, mental/physical abuse BY WW.
D - Horrible effects on BH, and BC.
E - Divorce, loss connection to BC etc.

I can now put Narcissistic Sociopathy in the B BOX.
This does SO MUCH to fill in the missing blank of what happened.

Not to excuse behavior of WW but to understand how she morphed into the 'despicable'person she became.

Leia posted 4/9/2014 22:06 PM

Amazing what you see when you start analyzing the behaviors of WSs. I can check off many of those "symptoms" of my STBXWH. I haven't followed your story, but you might want to look at manic bi-polar as well. I just used Wikipedia's definition, and the generic ones from the Mayo Clinic web site. Often, these might overlap--or so I've heard. Good luck on your journey.

swb32cox posted 4/9/2014 23:45 PM

As I contemplate this more I can see 6 BOXES. not 5.

A thru F

A - WW-Terrible overbearing born-again religious upbringing.
B - WW-Teenage and young adult promiscuity, alcohol abuse.
Beginning of Narcissistic Sociopathy.
C - WW-Full blown Narcissistic Sociopathy.
Marriage allows WW to put behavior into action.
D - WW-Serial Adultery, alcohol/mental/physical abuse.
E - Horrible mental and physical effects on BH,and BC.
Loss of longtime family friends.
Marital problems caused to 3rd party families affected
by WW Serial Adultery.
F - BH-Divorce, difficulties with maintaining any decent
father/children relationship.

woundedby2 posted 4/10/2014 01:53 AM

swb, you might want to check out the NPD thread in I Can Relate: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=523335

Good group of people dealing with the kind of crazy you are likely dealing with. Come join in.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 1:53 AM, April 10th (Thursday)]

Mom4ever posted 4/10/2014 06:09 AM

Swb32cox,
Thank you for posting that link. I am the BW so I was looking at it from a different side... But it's all the same whether they are a narcissistic sociopathic wife or husband we are dealing with. I've been doing IC. I've seen a couple of ICs who were free through our local domestic violence place and I see one that is definitely not free but worth every penny. They have all mentioned my STBXWH possibly being narcissistic and told me things to read, but at my session this week the IC also mentioned to me that he sounds like a sociopath.... So your link is very timely. At the bottom on the third list, it says if you answer yes to one ... and if you answer yes to two questions there is a high probability... Well, I answered yes to 13 out of 16. Maybe I'm finally getting the picture. It's only taken close to 27 years now... I guess it's clear I wasn't in the gifted program in school. Lol!

yearsofpain25 posted 4/10/2014 08:00 AM

Thank you for that link swb32cox. For my situation in what I'm dealing with, my mother has many, but not all of the points on the narcissist list and a few on the sociopath list.

Amazing how much damage these people do in the world.

yearsofpain25 posted 4/10/2014 08:19 AM

I had to read that list again. One of the things that my counselor is encouraging me to do is have a confrontation with my mother as a first step to getting by my anger in the healing process. To treat it like reading a victim statement at a sentencing. Not that she's being sentenced because in most ways she's already done that. It's a way for me to get out what I need to in order to move forward. I've been referring to it as a day of reckoning.

As part of DOR I'm going to narrow down that list to the one's that I have seen/know to be true and put AT LEAST ONE example for each point. Mostly for myself. If things go really wrong on DOR I will hand it to her and walk away.

Again, thanks for that.

yop

swb32cox posted 4/10/2014 14:48 PM

I have been looking for the 'WHY' for 30+ years.

I think I havethe most-likely 'WHY' and see how it makes so much sense based on MANY of her behaviors.
Not all behaviors are necessary to conclude that this is it, and other PD's also have similar behaviors.

BUT ONCE I FOUND, I WAS ABLE TO PUT IT INTO THE MISSING BLOCK OF MY FLOWCHART OF MY EXPERIENCE.

I am glad this could be of help.

here are some other good/better links.

http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-connection-between-narcissism-and-cheating.htm

http://able2know.org/topic/101932-1

BelleStar posted 4/10/2014 15:05 PM

I read the end of the article which asks you answer yes or no to being in an abusive relationship...said if you could answer just one or two you were in a troubled relationship....

What does it mean if you could answer yes to each and every one of them and site examples...BLEH! So glad Im not with the NPD king anymore. My new joy in life is that the OW gets to experience it now, everyday with him. Enjoy the ride bitch! You deserve each other.

swb32cox posted 4/10/2014 15:10 PM

BEllestar

As the great statesman, ALFRED E NEWMAN (the old MAD MAGAZINE) once said 'THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.

I hope that it helps free you.
The comment about the OW is perfect.
Revenge is always sweet.
even if it is just the thought of her getting what you experienced.