Got a text from The Princess at 2:00 this afternoon: "Call me now re 13"
Normally I take my time, but she used the magic words by mentioning my big boy. Turns out she had gotten a call from 13's best friend's mom because she found out the two of them were planning to smoke some weed together.
The Princess questioned 13 about this, and got a few details. Then she checked his phone and found out he was planning to smoke with his girlfriend this weekend as well. He swore he'd never smoked any weed before.
I asked her to put him on the phone. Instead of questioning him, I said, "So you did something stupid. Tell me about it."
And he sang like a canary. He's said he's tried it twice, then said, "If there were ever a time for you to say, 'Your mom's already given you shit, so I don't need to', now would be it."
My response: "Not fucking likely."
So I scared the living shit out of him. Discussed jail time, how sharing with his gf could be considered trafficking, how all this stuff is sold by bad guys who don't care if they poison you or get you addicted, the difference between physical and psychological addiction, how his mom would lose the house if we had to pay for a lawyer to defend him, how if one of us got mad at the other parent, we could use that as grounds to get sole custody and disallow visitation. I'm really not a bully, but I've never been happier to hear the tears flowing.
Then he told me that The Princess had him to his pediatrician today (unrelated) and he mentioned that he had done a few quizzes and come up true for depression (which I have, badly!). He started to tell the doctor, and she put up her hand. "Let me stop you there. You don't have depression. You just need to stop listening to sad music all the time!"
Now why'n fuck would you stop a 13 year old in his tracks when he is talking about depression?
Then he said, "There is something I've been wanting to tell you. It has nothing to do with this, so can you promise you won't tell Mom?"
Of course, I said I couldn't promise that. He told me anyhow: He's bisexual. Fuck, is that all? That I can deal with.
I remember when he told The Princess that one of his friends was bisexual, her response was to angrily ask, "How would she know at this age?"
How would she know? At 13, I knew I was hetero, beyond a doubt. So I'm guessing that the story about his "friend" was a test. One of us passed. I told him it doesn't change a thing about how I feel about him, of course, and I won't tell his mom until he says it's okay. The last thing he needs is to get challenged on his sexuality by his mother!
He has told a couple of his buddies, and they're cool with it. He told me that he was bugging one of them, saying that bisexuality is infectious. I said, "Yeah, but you can only catch it through kissing."
That lightened things up. I'm mourning a little after the fact now. He may end up facing some ignorance for this, and that breaks my heart.
So I did tell The Princess about him smoking weed twice, and I said that she needs to get him into some counselling immediately. I also told her to get 10 signed up too, because they've both had the same shitty couple of years. She says she will set that up tomorrow. For my part, there will be a SERIOUS decrease in his freedom about the city when he's here every weekend.
10 doesn't know any of this has happened, but knows that there has been much talking behind closed doors with 13, Mom, and me, so I asked to speak to him at the end.
I love my littlest boy. He has ADHD (like me) and can happily talk forever about any ridiculous topic that pops into his brain. So we talked and laughed about a few of those ridiculous topics.
What a fucking day!