Is it another sign of codependency on my part?
I actually was kind of enjoying the thought of him trying to reach out to me, it was a sick power game.
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way.
I was there a couple of years ago.
In a way, it gave me perverse pleasure that he was begging me to come back to him. But it really set back my healing, which only truly began when I went NC.
Tons of suggestions to keep you busy -- but you have to do what works for you.
One thing that helps is to challenge yourself using positive reinforcement.
Set a goal (e.g. no contacting him for a day) and then draw a star on a calendar when you succeed.
Give yourself rewards for reachable goals.
For example, if it were me, I might buy my favorite ice cream after 1 day of NC, enough fancy yarn to knit a fabulous scarf after 5 days of NC, and a massage after 10 days of NC.
Make it into a game and reward yourself for success. Pretty soon, the NC works its magic and you start to wonder why you'd ever want to talk to him :)
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Call a friend.
Do a puzzle.
Get a treadmill.
Cook some stuff ahead.
Write here instead of to him. Rant. We will listen.
Go down to fun and games and join in on some fun.
Get a dog.
Read a book.
Write a book.
Go to meetup.com and find some hobbies to go do.
Watch all the old episodes of Walking Dead.
In other words...anything that will take your mind off him. You can do it.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
And...I have kept in better touch with people. I actually know what's going on in their lives and make plans to see them more. Life is going on all around us. Redirect focus to the world outside your head.
One thing that helped me with NC was to know that the ONLY thing I could do to hurt xWH was to ignore him. He wanted so badly for me to absolve him. And I refused to do so.
Starve that fucker - starve him good. Block his number if you have to after requesting all comms via email going forward.
It's easier to keep a record of the crazy that way.