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Dealing with BS's feelings of inadequacy

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ThatGuyNoMore posted 4/10/2014 22:48 PM

Can anyone give me advice on how I can constructively deal with my BS's feelings of inadequacy? I totally understand why she feels inadequate, and she has no reason to believe any of the reassurances I give her. I just want to care for her & help her to heal.

BrokenButTrying posted 4/11/2014 02:01 AM

Time. Consistency of action from you. Find out her love language and speak it to her everyday.

It's not an easy task, I'm struggling with it too. I'm only 4 months out, hopefully someone with better advice will be along shortly.

Hang in there.

Aubrie posted 4/11/2014 09:17 AM

BBT kind of already nailed it.

If your Dday is anywhere near your registration date, you're at the very beginning of this nightmare rollercoaster of healing. Buckle up. It's a wild ride.

Check out the Healing Library. Yellow box on the left. Also check out "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair". Short read. Packed with info.

http://www.amazon.com/Help-Your-Spouse-Heal-Affair/dp/145055332X

There is no magic fix. This doesn't change on 2 weeks, 2 weeks, shoot sometimes 2 years. The "suggested" timeline for healing from infidelity is roughly 2 - 5 years, if there are no new hurts. To be honest, for most people it's closer to 5 years. Not trying to discourage or scare you. Just shooting straight.

Time. Consistency. Patience.

Good luck.

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