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Dealing with BS's feelings of inadequacy

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ThatGuyNoMore posted 4/10/2014 22:48 PM

Can anyone give me advice on how I can constructively deal with my BS's feelings of inadequacy? I totally understand why she feels inadequate, and she has no reason to believe any of the reassurances I give her. I just want to care for her & help her to heal.

BrokenButTrying posted 4/11/2014 02:01 AM

Time. Consistency of action from you. Find out her love language and speak it to her everyday.

It's not an easy task, I'm struggling with it too. I'm only 4 months out, hopefully someone with better advice will be along shortly.

Hang in there.

Aubrie posted 4/11/2014 09:17 AM

BBT kind of already nailed it.

If your Dday is anywhere near your registration date, you're at the very beginning of this nightmare rollercoaster of healing. Buckle up. It's a wild ride.

Check out the Healing Library. Yellow box on the left. Also check out "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair". Short read. Packed with info.

There is no magic fix. This doesn't change on 2 weeks, 2 weeks, shoot sometimes 2 years. The "suggested" timeline for healing from infidelity is roughly 2 - 5 years, if there are no new hurts. To be honest, for most people it's closer to 5 years. Not trying to discourage or scare you. Just shooting straight.

Time. Consistency. Patience.

Good luck.

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