I wrote out this long detailed story just now & then deleted it. The cliff notes version is that my daughter was touched inappropriately by a boy in her pre-K class & had to be interviewed by DCS today. The DCS lady told me that DD was "guarded" in talking about it & seemed to feel like she was to blame for not telling the teacher (she told me). She said she's going to follow up in a month & if DD is having issues she will refer us to a therapist.
My poor kid. :(
I know you feel for your daughter but I feel it was being interviewed that may have made her nervous.
How old was the little boy that touched her?
I am only asking as the Mum of 2 boys I know that they are fascinated by genitals. more their own than anyone else's.
It may have been done entirely innocently, the whole I'll show you mine if you show me yours kind of thing.
I really hope that that is the case and that there wasn't anything more sinister in it.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to your sweet baby.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
Sometimes the signs of things not being "right" show up at an early age.
I hope your little one is ok now.
I'm so glad she tild her mom...
(((JanaGreen & DD)))
Secondly, this post is very chilling for me. For a couple of reasons:
1) My DS has had issues with touching. I've never heard that any of it is inappropriate (he DID touch a teacher's rear end but I've never been told he touched another person's genitals) but it makes my blood literally run cold to think that one day he might do something like this, innocently, that will be construed as inappropriate. He has ADHD and thus has difficulty controlling his impulses. We are working with a behavioral therapist to correct this behavior. In the meantime, it literally terrifies me to think about what could happen if he doesn't keep his hands to himself.
2) You don't post details but if the touching incident with your dd was enough to get DCS involved, what the boy did had to be pretty bad. If the way he touched your daughter was sexual in nature, it makes me wonder just exactly what HE himself has experienced to make him behave this way at his age. I'm sure the investigation will uncover this if anything exists and get him the help he needs.
I think DCS is getting involved for exactly the reasons you stated in your second point, Abby. And assuming this child has been molested, whoever victimized him also indirectly victimized my child and her best friend.
I hope I'm wrong, but to be that hypersexual at that age there HAS to be more to the story for this poor boy.
What's even MORE telling is the fact that he's using threats of force/violence to accomplish it. That signifies to me (and I'm no professional) that this is not just normal/typical childhood curiosity. It really breaks my heart to think of what he might've gone through.
((((JanaGreen & DD and all involved))))
[This message edited by abbycadabby at 10:20 AM, April 11th (Friday)]
[This message edited by JanaGreen at 10:34 AM, April 11th (Friday)]
[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 2:03 PM, April 11th (Friday)]
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
I want to talk to her some more and repeat that it's not her fault, she's not in trouble, etc. But I don't want to keep bringing it up either.
Let me preface my comments by saying that my DD was molested by her brother when she was 14, so I've walked a very similar path.
What you have stated here is very important and so difficult. I remember not wanting to further traumatize her or cause her to relive the thing over and over again, but then I didn't want to ignore the huge elephant in the room either. I wanted to console, to affirm, to be there for her.
I would suggest you contact the DCS agent for guidance on how to handle this. And definitely go in and talk to a counselor and ask him/her how to deal with this so as to not further traumatize your child. Plus you need an outlet for your own fears and emotions. The county may have resources for you as well.
I do know that every retelling of the story causes retraumatization. Since law enforcement and the courts were in involved in our situation, my DD was brought to an office where she was interviewed, recorded and filmed (behind 1 way glass) by one agent with multiple agencies observing. This was to reduce further trauma and to eliminate the need for her to give testimony in court, were it ever needed.
We got my DD into therapy within a week. She recommended a book called "Trauma through a child's eyes". You might look it up.
Here is a link to the Child Sexual Abuse section of the Rainn.org website. After my DD disclosed to me, this agency helped me understand what had happened, how to respond, and helped me report it.
I'm so sorry you and your DD are going through this.