Years ago in MC my H was told to make a decision between me or his parents. The MC said my honesty threatened their house of illusion and threatened to expose their family habit of hypocrisy.
This is my husband's entire problem! His family is the dysfunctional one. None of them confront anyone about anything. They all let his mother run her mouth and do as she please, so when I rocked the boat by cutting it off I was the bad person.
Now, my H went to them last weekend and admitted to cheating.I prefer not having them in my life, but my H doesn't respect that. He basically told me a few weeks ago that I had had plenty of time to get over it with his mother, and I needed to stop punishing her that she got the message.
I don't think she got the message. Just like him she's been in IC for a couple of months, and nothing is resolved in that amount of time when you are deeply flawed as they are.
I'm deeply scarred from them and other things, so it boggles my mind that I would actually consider allowing them into my personal life just to cut me down and bring their toxicity back into my life. I've told my husband multiple times that if they weren't his family they would not be a part of my life. I don't like them, and I don't think they are great people. Even if they are his family it doesn't mean they have to be in my or my children's lives.
Which brings me back around to my own question of why I can't stop myself? It's just like yesterday. I went to the store. I bought ribs for my H because he likes them and I was trying to get something for dinner that he would like.
He comes home I'd already spent an hour cooking them and and it was going to take another hour, and he was suspiciously asking why, and I simply said, I thought you'd like them. That floored him. I just don't think any of them know how to do anything out of kindness. Anything they do is conditional and what they think should be done for someone else not what someone else would enjoy.Ugh. Hating myself now.
Married 14...he forgot our anniversary among other things. Every birthday, holdiay, whatever is forever ruined.
Together 17 years
Two great kids.
He doesn't get it. Moving us to his hometown with his toxic mother is going to