BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
That's how I feel again lately. I'm waiting for something to happen. The bad keeps coming, I'm waiting for something good.
I'm 5 years out from Dday in a few weeks. I feel like I'm no further ahead than I was then. This has nothing to do with pining away after him, I'm not. It's just that anything I try to do to make a new life for myself doesn't work. I've hit the why bother stage, while being frustrated that nothing good is happening.
I've rewritten this 3 times now, as it keeps getting too long. Too whiny.
My friend/neighbor said it well the other day. "DM, you are a good person. You are always willing to help others, do whatever needs to be done for your kids, for friends, even strangers. Why can't you catch a break?" I don't know. I really, really don't know. It's hard to stay optimistic and positive when the good part keeps evading you. Even asking others for help with certain things blows up on me.
I'm broke, tired, bored, stressed, you name it, I'm it. Just wish something I try to do to make my life better would actually work for a change, you know?
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.