I have had to put a pad lock on my bedroom door, because a few times he was in the house, went into my room and left signs that he was there.
I have asked him nicely over and over again, I do not want you at the house while I am not there. I only get, "it's my mom's house, I can do whatever I want". Please let me know when you will be coming here. "I don't have to answer to you", yes a total fucknut! He told me he did not have a key.
Needless to say, I come home late (midnight) after work last night and my daughter (she's 18) informs me that he had sent her several texts of how mad he is because she didn't clean her room, do the things she was told to do by him, etc. I asked when did he come over, she said she didn't know because she was not at home. Before I had left I always double check windows, doors etc., so I know damn well it was locked tight.
My question is, is he allowed to come and go? I think I am screwed because it is his parents home. Or can I have my attorney call his attorney to call him to stay the hell away. I am so stressed about this, he has threatened to take my furbabies and this would definitely kill me. Can I change the locks?
All advice is so appreciated!
You can change the locks, promise him a key and keep forgetting to give it to him! That was my attorney's advice. He can still break in and if he does YOU call the police because you don't know who is breaking into your home. It couldn't be him- you've forgotten to get his key made. And besides. He would NEVER break into the hom! Especially when a he had to do was call!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Once he breaks in (which he will), call the police and report it. They will, of course, tell you there's nothing they can do- but they will also probably give you the contact information to get a restraining order. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. Not getting one was one of the things I regret to this day.
At the same time, call your lawyer and tell them you want to petition the courts for exclusive possession of the marital home. Having broken in, and having his own address, you will very likely get it.
That way, he cannot come into the house without breaking the law. If he did, the police will treat it as a crime and there will be trouble.
Your MIL is the owner of the home that you reside in. She is your landlord, you are her tenant. Read your state's landlord/tenant statute. The fact that MIL owns the home doesn't give your stbx the *right* to show up and enter whenever he pleases.
You need to petition the court for exclusive use of the marital home. Until you do that, yes....it does seem that he has the ability to 'come and go' as he chooses.
Thinking that he will *take* your furbabies is a valid concern for you. Considering the fact that once he *takes possession* of that furbaby that it will cost you a ton of money and time to get it back......I, personally, would be willing to subject myself to whatever court proceedings he decided to undertake on the matter. If you unlawfully *do* something (like changing the locks) and offer a good *reason* if your stbx decides to come in and abscond with any marital property.......well, it's going to take a decent amount of time to get in front of a judge about it and, in the meanwhile, YOU have your furbabies.
IMO, if the choice is between *locking him out unlawfully* and allowing him the chance to invade your private space and *take* stuff -- I would totally protect myself first and would be more than happy to answer to a judge about why I did what I did.
You REALLY need a L to help to deal with this.
[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 8:39 PM, April 12th (Saturday)]
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
As stated before, your MIL may be the mother of your STBX, but she is still your landlord, and her relationship to him means nothing.
I would definitely change the locks, and as said by another poster, when he inevitably breaks in, file a restraining order.
My Affair: 2015
Status: trying to pick up the pieces.
D-Day, June 10, 2012