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Divorce/Separation :
I need help

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 Pinkyxo (original poster member #43095) posted at 8:51 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

My stbx has left me, a year ago or more...emotionally unavailable. Checked out, off his meds for 5 years now, Threatened me with divorce, I filed first thanks to you all.

I've been abused, he didn't hit me but emotional, mental and financial. Have a court date on tuesday, It's a pre-trial? WTF?

I have a trust fund...they're trying to break me. I gave him everything he ever wanted. Just bought him a truck in december. I've got nothing. Breaking...bleeding money. Haven't worked since 2004, he has me isolated. My friends and family are all at least 150 miles away. I'm about broken. Gave him everything he ever wanted, he checked out. Moved out dec 2012. So much more...but that's the nutshell. Thanks for reading xo

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 6758086
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 Pinkyxo (original poster member #43095) posted at 9:00 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

His parents are funding this divorce, hired a shark. They don't know the truth, I can't tip my hand until it's said and done, kwim? I've got the i'm not happy story 5 times in the last year. he's off his meds, his head is not right. Anyone understand? I took care of him...gave him everything. More later. Love you all. This is my 2nd infidelity...been a lurker for years because my first ex left me for a girl who was a sister to me. fml

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 6758093
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 9:20 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

(((((Pinky))))

The local women's shelter will have resources that you can use, whether it's counseling, legal advice, or steps on the job front. Please reach out for whatever local help is available, that is why those resources exist. You are not going to be broken by this honey.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6758104
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 Pinkyxo (original poster member #43095) posted at 9:22 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

I do have a paper trail to take to court. I have all the finances I have contributed...over $100k i was sick for years...healed myself now, but so feeling weak and scared. He'll have his parents inheritance but trying to take mine? This is all I've got...xo much more. He's had a gf since dec 2012 been living an hour away

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 6758105
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devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 9:35 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

Pinky you need to talk to someone. The womens shelter or an abused woman hotline would be a great place to start.

I'm glad you have a paper trail, and are better physically, but you need someone to talk to to help you with the isolation and abuse. They can also help you with legal advice to hopefully stop him from getting any of your cash.

Good luck on Tuesday, but please go somewhere monday for some help.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6758120
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 Pinkyxo (original poster member #43095) posted at 10:23 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014

Thank you but i don't have one in my county. It's 90 mile trip :( I've wanted to call but it is so far...i'm trying so fn codependent

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 6758145
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 Pinkyxo (original poster member #43095) posted at 1:37 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

I called, was nice to vent but not m guys much help. Love you guys more :)

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 6758309
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Leia ( member #42510) posted at 1:44 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to let you know that you're heard. Please find someone in real life to talk to. That will help so much.

"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

posts: 296   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2014   ·   location: Kansas
id 6758315
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 Pinkyxo (original poster member #43095) posted at 2:56 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

My best gf is a therapist! I'm still isolated though, she's over 150 miles away. My other bffs are cops, firemen and nurses. They're all far away but have my back. They've known what I've been though for years and have been by my side. I didn't quit on him...he's neglegted me and our home for years. Told me he's been talking to another woman the same day he threatened me with divorce. I believe he's been with her since he left me and our home dec 2012

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 6758385
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 3:50 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

Maybe you could ask family to come our for a week, a weekend, whatever, to help you sort some of this out and find your strength again?

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6758434
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