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What I'd Like to Tell Him

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hope2014 posted 4/13/2014 17:05 PM


You moved out (at my request) just over 4 weeks ago. While I'm still very hurt, angry, and sad about the demise of our 15 year marriage, I've learned some things.

I've realized that I am better than you. I out grew you several years ago. I suspect that you knew this long ago. This is why you have stifled me for years and ultimately started having an A with a married baker. You are a loser. You have always been a loser. I lacked the self-esteem to know that when we married.

The last few weeks have only been a reveal of who you really are. You are a lying, cheating, deceptive, self-absorbed loser who is not worth my time. I know that the OW will either kick you to the curb or that R will also implode. Contrary to your belief, your sh$# does not smell like roses and you are responsible for a lot of the crap that has happened in your life.

While your life is going to suck, I am going to move on, heal, and find someone new. Someone who wants to be my partner and is passionate towards me. I'm not yet ready (since we are still married), I also look forward to finding a new man who does not have constant "performance issues."

Suck it,

Your BW

SBB posted 4/13/2014 17:47 PM

The best revenge is living well - you'll be surprised that when it happens revenge won't be top of mind, you'll be too busy being happy!

After telling my IC what the M was like for me prior to DD she asked me to examine what it was I was missing about what was clearly an emotionally abusive relationship. I couldn't answer her. I was missing who I told myself he was - not who he actually was.

Ironic that in his devastating and destructive quest for freedom I was the one who was set free.

justinpaintoday posted 4/13/2014 18:35 PM

Same here SBB. When my IC heard me speak of the abuse in my M her response was "And you miss what?" I think we miss what we hoped the other person could have been vs what they actually are and honestly will ever be.

I intend to change my life for the positive. I hope I will remarry (better) and I pray for a wonderful life with my children and grandbabies.

Williesmom posted 4/13/2014 19:58 PM

After my WXH moved out, the only thing in my life that changes was....less laundry for me.

I'm not kidding, but it is funny.

Klove posted 4/13/2014 20:14 PM

I'm just so happy to be off of his crazy coaster. Not a fun ride...
(Hope) everything you said rang really true for me. Now that I am away from him, I can see so clearly what a douchhhhhe bag he is. And always was. Why why why did I settle?
Not gonna be makin' that mistake again.

norabird posted 4/13/2014 21:31 PM

Love this. Suck it indeed!

hope2014 posted 4/13/2014 21:37 PM

This entire situation has been strangely empowering in many ways. While I don't consider our relationship to be abusive (not even on an emotional level), I have discovered that I lost large pieces of me in trying to make room for him and his issues. He found subtle/indirect ways of belittling me about minor, inconsequential things that were none the less painful.

I look forward to rediscovering who I am without him and putting back together the missing pieces. By myself or with some future person, I'll be much better off without him.

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