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lilacs40 (original poster member #31314) posted at 11:53 PM on Sunday, April 13th, 2014
Since we told the kids today there were a couple things I told STBXH.
I told him that I will no longer be doing his laundry and I don't expect he should do mine. I also told him that I would not be paying the bills that are in his name (meaning car insurance cc bills) but that I would continue to pay the household bills. I also told him that he should find out what we need to do to separate our cell phone bill.
After I thought about it I told him he should think about opening his own checking account (I did this yesterday) since he will not be able to just take off my name of the existing one. That I thought her both should deposit the larger portion of our checks into the household account and keep the rest to deposit in our own personal ones.
He did not come out and tell me but I know he thinks I am being mean and spiteful. I tried to explain that he doesn't want me to be his wife so I will no longer do wifely things.
Am I just being petty? I was going to tell him he needed to move his clothes from the room we used to share but figured THAT was going too far.
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 12:04 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
You are getting divorced, no? Does he not get what that means?? You are not being petty.
In fact, you ought to designate how much should be put into the household account to cover household expenses. Make sure you L knows all this so it can be incorporated into temporary orders until your D is final.
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 12:58 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
lilacs, that's exactly the right thing to do. Take care of the business stuff and take care of your future. Try not to feel any guilt over it. It's gotta be done
Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.
suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 1:08 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
Right, because having an A and ruining your family is not nearly as mean and spiteful as refusing to wash underwear and share every penny you earn.
I agree that this is exactly what needs to be done. This is his reality now. Too bad if he doesn't like it. He created it.
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
Notsignificant ( new member #43098) posted at 1:17 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
Not at all. Part of him being a big boy is getting his own checking account and finding a place to store his clothes. My husband has all of his clothes stored in a tiny little corner of our already crowded spare bedroom next to his old lumpy futon. Do I feel bad? Nope. 
Me-32
Him-36
Married-6 years
DS-5
Found out-4/10/14 when a bladder infection appeared out of nowhere.
courageous ( member #34477) posted at 2:24 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
Not petty at all. He probably just had an idea in his head about what life would be like after divorcing. He is upset that you didn't follow his script. This is just a taste of what is to become. Be prepared for him to get angry and nasty with you because of it.
Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.
freeatlast72 ( member #42758) posted at 2:42 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
No, not petty!
I told my STBXH that this is not a friendship....this is a divorce!
What do they expect? That divorce is going to be a piece of cake and everything will be perfect for them?
BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 4:15 AM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
Ok ~ I'm making it unanimous ... you are NOT being petty!! I mean, what was he expecting? For you to continue to wipe his ass too? This is just reality ... that's it. You NEED to look after you. That is your responsibility. He is an adult and this is part of the consequences of his actions. You are doing beautifully!! Hang in there!
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