So, as all BS's undoubtedly do, I yo yo all the time between being ok, being angy, being fearful of more lies, being sad etc. However, I just wanted to share something positive that happened last night.
So I was bathing our son, he is just over 3 months and loving the big bath. As I was finishing up and bringing him to the lounge room WH says I have a surprise for you. Immediately the defences went up and I started to wonder if maybe this was going to be some sick way of revealing more information about the affair (he has never been cruel about revealing information, but its a product of not really knowing the man I thought I was married to). He takes our son and points to our blackboard in the kitchen and says, start here. He goes off to take care of our baby and I begin to follow a series of clues, based on rhymes, to find the surprise. At the end it was a little slip of paper that said he was to be my slave for the night! And he was! I made him remove a face mask and moisturise my face, clean the bottles and go and get me tea. Mainly just to see if he would follow through without the usual "are you serious" and he did, no complaints, nothing was too much. It was the first night in a long time where we ended up sitting on the couch giggling and telling stories and just being open with each other. We talked about the affair objectively most of the time, and at times talked about our past and some of the great things in it.
I just wanted to share I guess, tomorrow it could all go back to shit, but right now I feel hope at what COULD be!