So, I need thoughts or ideas on how to handle a situation.
Some back story:
J and L were married neighbors of ours that, for a year, we hung out a lot. Our kids played, we traded cook out locations, ect.
J and L have since divorced and are now in ugly custody battle that J has asked our advice on alot. I hate the idea that we took sides, but the situation did not lend itself to stay friends with L. She is a WS, married her AP. I choose not to stay a friend of hers for obvious reasons.
So, now the situation. J has become a mutal friend and is over at our house at least once a week sometimes more. I have tried to stay clear of him since he is now a single guy and DH is uncomfortable with me around single men (though, neither one of us had issues being married and talking to each other, but i digress).
DH is now utterly convinced that there is something going on between us because of the following:
1. We texted 25 times in a billing cycle.
2. When J comes over, he will talk to me about geek things that DH is not into.
3. I will look at him, or in Dh's mind, I will sneak peaks at him.
4. I am just to friendly.
5. But yet, i can't leave the room everytime he comes over becuase I will be rude.
So, I asked DH what he needed me to do to....to which i got the "I dont know, I dont care" speech.
Sadly, this pissed me off and I went off. I stated that I have done everyhthing I could do. I sit on the opposite side of the room every time, I am never alone in the room with him, and I tried to stear the converstation towards things DH like to talk about.
I asked him to then tell J to not come over anymore. This is not acceptable to DH because J is his friend.
We have literally been round and round on this topic, to the point where I am ready to text J and ask him to no longer come to the house, and that DH and he are more then welcome to go out to visit, or to visit when I am not home.
Otherwise, my only option is to just go into my bedroom when J is there, so that there is no possible way my actions can be red flaggy.....
I am just fed up with this situation - Dh is not willing to help me make it right, and anything i have done so far has been wrong.
There is also more - red flags on DH's end. Like the fact that he has texted a woman he works with over 100 times, and is just so concerned with her recent shoulder surgery that he calls her once a day to see how she is doing. (and yet, his BEST friend that was electricuted, he only texts about once a week, and calls even less) But its ok, because "She looks like MiMi from the Drew Carry show. Yeah....like he hasn't enjoyed a thicker woman in his life before. /eyeroll.
uggg...so frustrated, we had been doing REALLY good...