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Morhurt (original poster member #40166) posted at 6:19 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
I watched this with my H and we both loved it. It's short and left us wanting more. The difference between sympathy and empathy, it feels to me like the difference between regret and remorse.
(video has stupid and triggery title, please ignore)
https://www.upworthy.com/my-wife-didnt-get-why-i-was-so-into-this-woman-but-after-about-40-seconds-we-were-both-obsessed?c=ufb2
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 6:43 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
What makes something better is connection.
Wow! I find that statement by Dr. Brene Brown to be very powerful for the truth that it holds.
Connection makes something better. Definitely true for our reconciliation. We had lost our connection. We have it back now and that has made it better for me.
Also, connecting with people here at SI definitely absolutely made it better for me. That is why SI is so powerful. Connecting us all together really does make it better.
Her explanation in knowing the difference between sympathy and empathy is, as usual, spot on. I really like what Dr. Brown has to say.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
IWantDoOver ( member #39440) posted at 12:36 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Best thing I've seen all day.
Brene Brown "gets it"! I may have to start following her column in O mag.
HeartFullOfHoles ( member #42874) posted at 1:17 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
I showed this to our MC months ago. Said it felt like my WW was offering me a sandwich all the time. My WW seems to be trying to figure this out, but it sure isn't coming easily to her.
I would have expected more empathy (and remorse) from my WW given her first husband had a PA and married the OW, but I guess understanding the pain and empathizing are two different things.
BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters
Morhurt (original poster member #40166) posted at 4:25 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
I've heard snippets of Brene Brown's TED talks but H and I are now going to watch them for sure. :)
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
brokensmile322 ( member #35758) posted at 7:45 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
THis is awesome. Thanks for sharing.
I sent it to my fWH. He said he loved it and apologized for having offered me sandwiches over and over again. He said he feels bad for my being in a hole and feeling alone. He said the visual really helped his very black and white mind.
Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."
RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 2:07 AM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Thank you.
I just shared with my WH who, during his affair, lacked empathy.
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
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