Topic: Recommitment and Tears
Member # 35812
| Posted: 4:12 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
I had been thinking about this for some time so, a couple of weeks ago, when we were at my cousin’s huge wedding reception, I pulled my FWH off to the side and said to him, that I would like to have (and was ready for) a recommitment ceremony with him and what did he think? He said, today? (which is what I said, but in a slightly more harassed tone, when he first proposed to me in the middle of a crazy event that I was running at the time) We agreed that we would set up a time to discuss it when we got back, and earlier last week, we set the time as last Friday. I asked him to think about what he wanted, what he didn’t want, and what things were an absolute need, vice a want. We tossed a few ideas back and forth and also sat down and did a written discussion about why we wanted to have this ceremony and how that made us feel.
Friday, we opened a bottle of wine, sat next to each other, and talked. It came out that we both wanted a very small, intimate, ceremony, possibly only with the officient, since we felt that we would need to disclose why we were choosing to have this ceremony on a non-significant date and on a non-significant “wedding” year. We both wanted to be on or near the water. We knew what date we would celebrate our new anniversary, but we felt no need to hurry things up so that our ceremony actually fell on that date. We both wanted our MC to officiate he is a Methodist minister. FWH wanted a trip as well, however looking at vacation, he doesn’t have enough during this first year at a new company. So we decided at our 5 year anniversary, which would also be our 25 year antiversary, we would have a bigger, official celebration with friends and family, and we would start saving for that trip to one of three places we’ve always wanted to go to. Also, there were two things that I asked of him. The first, was for a proposal. I wanted him to think about what and why, and propose to me that we begin this second trip together. The second was that we go out and look for and purchase, rings together. He agreed, and then, gods, I can’t remember it all, he went down on his knees next to me, held my hands, and just poured out his heart about how sorry he was, how much he loved me, how special I was, how wonderful our love was, and how much he looked forward to spending the rest of his life with me. And then added, “BTW, this is NOT your proposal!”
Dang, I’m getting all misty-eyed thinking about it. My heart feels really full right now.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 5551 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 37184
| Posted: 4:19 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
Good for you Skan!
I hope this time around is fantastic for you!!!
Posts: 786 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
Member # 43041
| Posted: 4:19 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
That's beautiful! I'm so glad the two of you have arrived at this place. Gives me hope that it could be my future too!
Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: 1 DC: Due Sep 2015
Together 1q years, married almost 3.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!
Posts: 476 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Member # 40166
| Posted: 4:22 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
You brought tears to my eyes. :)
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
Posts: 1041 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 34319
| Posted: 4:38 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
I'm tearing up Skan. :)
D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
Posts: 1482 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 30826
| Posted: 4:42 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
M: June 2001
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 8617 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Member # 38384
| Posted: 5:30 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
That's really nice Skan.
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Posts: 2955 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Member # 39836
| Posted: 6:35 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
Entering R slowly and cautiously...
Posts: 579 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 39439
| Posted: 7:45 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
What a wonderful post. I am so glad to read such a positive story. May your joy continue to overflow. Thanks for posting and giving us all hope.
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
Posts: 1541 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
Member # 41900
| Posted: 8:21 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
Thanks for sharing. So beautiful! Inspiring! Hopeful!
Posts: 106 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
Member # 30369
| Posted: 8:28 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing that, Skan.
"I'm touched by the idea that when we do things that are useful and helpful -- collecting these shards of spirituality -- that we may be helping to bring about a healing." — Leonard Nimoy
Posts: 10448 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 30024
| Posted: 8:31 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
Sheesh, you had to go and make me cry, Skan?
So happy for you. You and FWH.
BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Posts: 10484 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 39682
| Posted: 8:53 PM, April 14th (Monday), 2014|
Love this!! I hope we get there some day. Thank you so much for sharing.
Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R
Posts: 876 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
Member # 37756
| Posted: 3:59 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
Love this!!!! Yay for happy and full hearts!
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
Posts: 610 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 36853
| Posted: 4:35 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs
I edit often because I make a lot of typos. ☺️
Posts: 1599 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Member # 21101
| Posted: 7:28 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
Wonderful, now aren't you glad you played the hard ass a few times early on?
Congrats. Enjoy your new beginning.
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy
Posts: 9178 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 22870
| Posted: 9:56 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
I'm divorced, cynical, and battle hardened. Your post made me cry for you.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7979 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 42460
| Posted: 10:49 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
There is hope! Congratulations on prayers answered!
Me-BS 53 Him-WS 55
D Day Oct 18, 2012 3 Yr LTA
It is well with my soul
Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 31349
| Posted: 10:55 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
I just love it, Skan. It's so wonderful that you both have grown together like this. I'm sure you will have a beautiful ceremony.
(((Skan & Mr.Skan)))
"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron
Posts: 20735 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 40181
| Posted: 11:27 AM, April 15th (Tuesday), 2014|
Go on and make me cry, why don't you?
Good for you guys. That is happy news.
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."
Posts: 269 | Registered: Aug 2013
|Topic Posts: 24|