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Finally telling him off

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StillLivin posted 4/14/2014 22:46 PM

I was reading another post here about finally telling the WS off after D is final and chips have fallen helter skelter.
I have had so many fantasy conversations telling him off for this or that. Was starting to think I would never stop those obsessive thoughts.
Today, he avoided service for D papers.
I realized it had been several weeks since I had one of those fantasies. I imagined him coming back and begging me to let him come home.
I couldn't even work up the energy to fantasize about telling him off. I just imagined me saying one word, "NO!"
Then closing the door.
No cussing, no big scene, no slamming the door even.
Is this the beginning of indifference, when you just don't care to tell him all the things you worked so hard to stay NC for????

SBB posted 4/14/2014 23:45 PM

I remember a post of tesla's where she said something like she reached a point where she didn't want to tell him all the ways that he was a failure because that would be giving him an opportunity for growth on the back of her insight.

I realised I didn't want to give him all of the lessons I had learned in the firestorm and ashes of my M.

Breaking your give-a-fuck is a big step towards healing. I don't care to give him a piece of my mind or any part of me anymore. He is undeserving.

Abbondad posted 4/15/2014 03:51 AM

I totally get it. I have those fantasies at least once a day--great dramatic scenes packed with biting one-liners and ending with me strolling nonchalantly away and leaving her in tears.

But I know it would not matter--even if I did. It would not penetrate these people's sense of entitlement and justification for their misdeeds. I think we just cannot conceive of the mental gymnastics and defensive walls they have erected around themselves.

These fantasies have, however, greatly diminished. I used to be plagued by them hourly. So I guess that suggests I am on my way to indifference. But damn, that clock moves slowly.

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