IMO next time your MIL brings up your marriage, you need to tell her that your marriage is not up for discussion and stop her right there.
Your H needs to tell her to mind her business, too. The two of you need to be a unified front and a team at all times.
I'm sorry you had to listen to that crap.
He cheated. he wants to R? then his top priority is to keep you safe. he failed to do that with his mother.
If he won't tell her she isn't welcome..then you tell her. It is your home..you have a right not to be ambushed in it.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Heavy sigh. I am so sorry.
This is ridiculous. Your WH is married to YOU not to his mother.
IMO, he should of wrapped his arm around you and told his mother...
"he has hurt you so deeply that you are simply trying your best to heal and move forward. It takes time and he is grateful that you have stuck by his side through this. The process of recovery is a journey not a destination and he realizes that he is the cause of the pain you feel and he is committed to doing WHATEVER it takes to heal. Yes, it is hard to hear the same questions and relive the mistakes of his past but if that is what you need to heal then he can handle it because you have had to handle so much worse...the affair, the mind movies, the uncertainty. Thank you mother for your concern but this is about you supporting our marriage NOT about supporting me..."
it caused me to fight with my WH for NO REASON!!!
(((gently))) It caused a fight because your WH didn't stick up for you and was selfishly lapping up his mommy's affirmation.
He needs to stand up to her and let her know that her little boy messed up big time and is now trying to do what is right. To please respect you and your marriage. That he loves her but if he wants her advice (he NOT YOU) then he will ask for it.
Stay strong. Stay focused. You can do this.
1faith: I love everything you said and that is exactly what I needed to hear him say. I read what you wrote to him and he agreed that would have been a better reaction from him but he said he was kind of blindsided walking into our conversation and reacted out of anger at the situation. Hopefully he gets it now. Thank you so much.
Mother's in law can be a gift or they can be a curse. Some of us are just NOT lucky in that department.
I am sorry that you had to endure this completely out of line, off base experience with your MIL. Can you say "BOUNDARY ISSUES???!!!!"
She, the MIL, needs to butt out and take her dysfunctional approach to marriage, which she and her spouse passed on to the next generation, her son, some place else.
Your husband needs to tell her that as well.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking