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DepressedDaddy posted 4/16/2014 07:58 AM

My WW and I are looking at options for our divorce. We have been amicable up to this point, so we were looking at the possibility of using a mediator to cut down on costs. Just wondering what others felt about using a mediator versus lawyers. Anybody go that route? Thoughts?

Merlin posted 4/16/2014 09:39 AM

Mediation is a good way to go if things are amicable. It is much cheaper.

You should have an attorney review any and all proposed terms before you accept them.

Yes,your own attorney will cost a bit. But you should not pretend that you understand how divorce laws and settlements work. Penny-wise is not the way to go.

[This message edited by Merlin at 10:08 AM, April 16th (Wednesday)]

SeanFLA posted 4/16/2014 10:29 AM

Agreed ^^^ I know you don't want to spend the cash, but if something isn't done right you may find yourself back in an attorney's office again in the future paying to have it all fixed. If you are amicable agree to use one attorney for both of you to help with things. If you have a home to settle there are quit claim deeds that need to be done correctly. If there are 401Ks and IRA's things like rollovers and QRDOs need to be prepared and submitted to the courts for signing. If kids are involved there are parenting plans that need to be filed, stuff like that. There's more to it than you may think. If both of you have a serious falling out later the decisions you make now will have you legally bound for the rest of your existence.

devistatedmom posted 4/16/2014 16:48 PM

We did our MSA with a mediator, but once it was written up I did pay a lawyer to look it over and make sure the legal jargon was proper, and that we didn't miss anything. Worth every penny to make sure he couldn't come back and claim half the house later. He couldn't be bothered to have a L read it; didn't want to spend the money. He whined about many things later, yet he was the one that just said yes to anything the mediator said. I'm the one that questioned things I didn't like.

StrongAlone posted 4/16/2014 17:21 PM

I'm doing mediation and we are not amicable but it's still going quite well. I would recommend 'directed mediation' though, then they have an agenda and go over everything bit by bit. Our document is very detailed and specific, 2 friends of mine who used lawyers were quite impressed by everything that we talked about. Be prepared to do research into certain places where they might not have much expertise though.

Pros and cons for both! best of luck.

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