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Garlic-smelling, free-swinging disaster

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stroppy_wanadoo posted 4/16/2014 08:14 AM

I made a new recipe last night - Italian Mac and Cheese. It called for 3 cloves of garlic, pressed. No biggie, I have cooked with garlic before. But something was different with this garlic. It was SUPER garlic... hopped up on steroids or something. With a super pungent smell.

Today, I wake and shower. Shower (which is upstairs in our bedroom, well away from the kitchen) smells like garlic when you pull back the curtain. I scrubbed well to be sure the smell wasn't all over me. All seems fine.

Until I am driving to work. My whole hour-plus commute, all I could smell was garlic. Not even fresh garlic, but day-old, already consumed garlic. I sniffed my hands, arms... no noticeable garlic smell. But it's coming from somewhere, because my eyes are watering and my nostrils burning.

Arrive at work and bend down to pick up my purse from the floor. GARLIC SMELL IS EMINTATING FROM MY CORE... and I realize with fright - it's my BRA! Yes, I wore the same bra yesterday while I was cooking. I only have three good ones in the rotation...

I make a critical and difficult decision. I have to lose the bra. Which means my 38DDDs are loose under a cami and sweater. But I can not wear that bra all day. I am anxiously awaiting 10 am when the store near me opens so I can buy a new one. Meanwhile, I am trying hard not to move, so I don't swing and give myself or someone else a black eye. And my bra is tied up in a plastic garbage bag that I rummaged from the bottom of my trash can (thanks, housekeeping, for leaving a spare!!!).

Oh - did I mention that one of the company's highest level presidents stopped me in the hall to chat on the way back from removing the offending bra? Yeah. I kept my arms folded across my chest lest a cold breeze make me point at him...

All this commotion just so my family could have dinner last night. And the Italian mac and cheese wasn't even that good.

Amazonia posted 4/16/2014 08:18 AM

knightsbff posted 4/16/2014 08:19 AM

Kalleigh posted 4/16/2014 09:26 AM

I hate GArlic lol

nowiknow23 posted 4/16/2014 09:28 AM

Pentup posted 4/16/2014 10:21 AM

Yeah. I kept my arms folded across my chest lest a cold breeze make me point at him...

Lucky you! If I were free swinging my 38d's and there was a cold breeze, we would both be trying to see what I was pointing to on the floor.

lynnm1947 posted 4/16/2014 10:45 AM

Well played, Stroppy!

I love garlic--going down. The next day, though, I swear I emanate from my pores no matter how much I wash and wear deodorant, and from my mouth no matter how much I brush my teeth and swig mouthwash.

stroppy_wanadoo posted 4/16/2014 11:47 AM

Pentup... he's shorter than me.

I just wanted to let everyone know the crisis has passed. The girls have been returned to their rightful place on my chest. Plus, bras were buy one, get one for $10. So I even have a spare!

Aubrie posted 4/16/2014 11:52 AM

Ohhhh stroppy. Thanks for the laugh.

I called my girlfriend and was like, "So listen to this..." and we laughed and laughed.

Glad you're safe and secure again.

TrulyReconciled posted 4/16/2014 16:51 PM

authenticnow posted 4/16/2014 18:34 PM

jrc1963 posted 4/16/2014 19:40 PM

Lucky you! If I were free swinging my 38d's and there was a cold breeze, we would both be trying to see what I was pointing to on the floor.

Same here... except mine are 38H's and they'd be poking out the bottom of my shirt!

ETA: Stroppy - That's too funny.... This is why you have to have more bras in your rotation!!

[This message edited by jrc1963 at 7:41 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]

kernel posted 4/16/2014 20:32 PM

This thread is hilarious - thanks for the laugh! This topic makes me think of the time my Mom called a bra an over-the-shoulder boulder-holder! It still makes me laugh.

BrokenRoad posted 4/16/2014 20:45 PM

This happens every time I make garlic bread.
I smell it on me all day the next day!

Kelany posted 4/16/2014 20:48 PM

stroppy_wanadoo posted 4/17/2014 10:11 AM

Proud to report that I am smelling like a normal human today. Vampires may be attracted to me again.

I am so glad I provided laughs to so many... I was laughing myself, and I told one of my sisters who howled all day and kept texting me funny questions about the state of the ladies.

JanaGreen posted 4/17/2014 10:15 AM

LMAO I'm glad you got everything under control! Great story.

metamorphisis posted 4/17/2014 16:13 PM

This is the best thing I have read all week.

FaithFool posted 4/18/2014 14:12 PM

Maybe I've been on the bus too long, but when I saw "garlic" and "free-swinging" in the same line I thought "sausage", my mind immediately went to another body part...

[This message edited by FaithFool at 2:12 PM, April 18th (Friday)]

little turtle posted 4/18/2014 16:08 PM

Great story!!

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