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EvenKeel posted 4/16/2014 09:14 AM

I have been dating someone since Jan. I have met his children but have not spent a lot of time with them due to newness of our relationship (taking it slow, etc).

All their bdays are within the month. I will not see any of them on their bdays (we live about 45 mins apart). Should I acknowledge their birthdays and if so, what is appropriate?

I do not want to go overboard (or underboard) but I do realize I am setting precedent here.

gotmylifeback posted 4/16/2014 09:30 AM

How old are the kids?

cmego posted 4/16/2014 09:52 AM

My gut reaction is no. Or, maybe the next time you are spending time with them, offer to buy ice-cream or something as a birthday treat?

Next year, after you've been together a year or more?? Sure! Acknowledge away...

EvenKeel posted 4/16/2014 11:27 AM

They are turning 9 and 15. Part of me thinks give they something small to acknowledge it....other part thinks to let it go since it is still new? IDK - I will see them both this weekend (Dead center between both of their bdays).

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 11:28 AM, April 16th (Wednesday)]

RavenWood posted 4/16/2014 23:06 PM

I would get them something small as a token of recognizing it. I'd find it awkward not to acknowledge their birthday - sort of the elephant in the room.

Whatever you do, make sure it is about them and not you. There is nothing worse than their father calling them over because "EvenKeel wants to talk to you". "Now kids, what do we say to EvenKeel? How about a thank you?!". "Boy kids, isn't EvenKeel great for remembering your birthday?"

Yeah Dad... She's amazing and it's clearly all about her...

wildbananas posted 4/16/2014 23:52 PM

I'm with RavenWood - I think it would be nice to acknowledge their birthdays with something small but nothing overboard. Maybe a Target gift card? Or treat them to pizza or a movie they've been wanting to see?

Gah, I don't know. I'm not very good at this either.

thyme2go posted 4/17/2014 00:48 AM

Nothing. Too soon.

better4me posted 4/17/2014 09:54 AM

Ask their dad what he thinks would be best. Would a small gift be okay, or is it too soon? Then do what he suggests. Every family is different...you don't have to figure out the rules, you can ask.

Amazonia posted 4/17/2014 10:22 AM

I was thinking card and iTunes gift card, if anything.

You won't be spending their birthday with them though, will you? It seems early to be joining the family festivities.