Just got a text from ex, who only now is taking her stuff from the house: "Do you want the lazy boy? I don't want it."
(She said the same for two other items she had insanely insisted on.)
I took a deep breath and texted back that I don't want the lazy boy, that I will no longer discuss "things," and that anything else she doesn't want she should leave out for trash collection.
She texted pissily, "Fine, no problem."
Vile, clueless and mentally ill.
(And I meant it. At this point I don't want the chair. It's "ruined" for me. It's good enough for me that POS won't be sitting in it in front of my children.)
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. -Dune
breathe dammit
( wiping tears from my eyes)
Sigh, I got nothing
So, that's something.
Finally reached indifference & looking forward to my new beginning
"I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."
After running through a thousand retorts, I finally settled on the default, which continues to serve me well: None.
Oh yeah, she's fucking cray-cray
crickets.
Good job on the crickets. Eventually she'll figure out that you're not married anymore.
[This message edited by Gemini71 at 1:59 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013 Divorced 11/18/2014
Unfricking believable.
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen
She asked a question. A reasonable question really. Because if you drove by and said Lazy Boy was on the curb with no offer to you it would be "She could have at least asked me if I wanted it! My kids gave it to me...."
So. She asked. You decided you didn't want it. Communication necessary. But additional ego kibble and drama llama feeding of "I am not going to discuss this kind of thing with you." and then telling her what to do with all of her future possible offers was just inviting further communication. Kind of like walking through a room and announcing "I am still NOT TALKING TO YOU." If you aren't talking.... You don't talk!!
The follow up "sorry you have a bad attitude" text is a direct result of the extra syllables you gave her. Do you see that? Others have suggested it before. Try to imagine she is a random moving guy and he stumbled on something that might be yours. Asked and answered. Moving on! No drama. No saga. No emotion.
Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.
eta: read more harshly than I intended. tried to clarify
[This message edited by caregiver9000 at 2:13 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]
We ALL knew that this crazy lady's crazy would not go away because they are divorced, but COME.ON woman....seriously....
Now then, just envision a biblical swarm of crickets smothering that batshit crazy biatch.
Put a picture of a cricket on your screensaver to remind you.
Point taken. Thank you. I must have the following conversation in my head when this sort of thing happens again:
"How dare she! Does she not realize, remember, etc.?"
"She may or she may not. It doesn't matter."
"But if I remind her of --"
"No. Don't bother. It won't make any difference. It won't penetrate."
"But it's not fair."
"No, it sure isn't."
"So, if I must respond, just the facts?"
"Yes, just the facts. Take some breaths, scream aloud to yourself what you really want to say, and then respond factually, emotionlessly, with as few words as possible."
"Because it doesn't matter?"
"Correct. It doesn't matter."
wow she is a special brand of NPD/PA crazy.
she is just trying to hang on to a thread of contact and control with you.
crickets crickets crickets. your attitude is fine. i'm pretty sure it wasn't you making drama to the last minute.
Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future. -foulton oursler
Who didn't see this coming??
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."
She can suck it. A dig here and there may give you some tiny bit of vindication. As long as you don't get sucked back in. The one and done response is fine.
continues to serve me well: None. Abbondad
Heed your own words. Soon enough, the reaction in your head will follow.
She is a real piece of work.
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M 3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
Yeah. Your new lazyboy will be perfect.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009. EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
