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Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 6:18 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
For those of you who followed my story:
Just got a text from ex, who only now is taking her stuff from the house: "Do you want the lazy boy? I don't want it."
(She said the same for two other items she had insanely insisted on.)
I took a deep breath and texted back that I don't want the lazy boy, that I will no longer discuss "things," and that anything else she doesn't want she should leave out for trash collection.
She texted pissily, "Fine, no problem."
Vile, clueless and mentally ill.
(And I meant it. At this point I don't want the chair. It's "ruined" for me. It's good enough for me that POS won't be sitting in it in front of my children.)
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 6:28 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 6:33 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Lol Lol,Lol,Lol,Lol
breathe dammit
( wiping tears from my eyes)
Sigh, I got nothing
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 6:39 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
All I know is, your next chair will be yours alone, and no one can ever use it as a bartering chip in a crazy negotiation intended to break your spirit.
So, that's something.
Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 6:44 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
Softcentre ( member #39166) posted at 7:32 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Me: BW
Him: XWH
2 Children
Finally reached indifference & looking forward to my new beginning
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 7:34 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Just received this text:
"I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."
After running through a thousand retorts, I finally settled on the default, which continues to serve me well: None.
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 7:56 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
unbe-fucking-lievable.
Oh yeah, she's fucking cray-cray 
crickets.
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 7:59 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
What a B!tch!
Good job on the crickets. Eventually she'll figure out that you're not married anymore.
[This message edited by Gemini71 at 1:59 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 8:10 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
If you didn't really know her true colors before you know now!
Unfricking believable.
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 8:10 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
And I needed to add, I would not respond to anything else. You have more important things to do.
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 8:11 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Do you really want no drama, no more "sagas?" Because if you do, then think back to the 80s and go with "JUST SAY NO." Maybe even "no thanks."
She asked a question. A reasonable question really. Because if you drove by and said Lazy Boy was on the curb with no offer to you it would be "She could have at least asked me if I wanted it! My kids gave it to me...."
So. She asked. You decided you didn't want it. Communication necessary. But additional ego kibble and drama llama feeding of "I am not going to discuss this kind of thing with you." and then telling her what to do with all of her future possible offers was just inviting further communication. Kind of like walking through a room and announcing "I am still NOT TALKING TO YOU." If you aren't talking.... You don't talk!!
The follow up "sorry you have a bad attitude" text is a direct result of the extra syllables you gave her. Do you see that? Others have suggested it before. Try to imagine she is a random moving guy and he stumbled on something that might be yours. Asked and answered. Moving on! No drama. No saga. No emotion.
Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.
eta: read more harshly than I intended. tried to clarify
[This message edited by caregiver9000 at 2:13 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 8:13 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Nature_Girl
We ALL knew that this crazy lady's crazy would not go away because they are divorced, but COME.ON woman....seriously....
Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 8:19 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Think of the extra syllables as gasoline. You don't want that anywhere near a flame...
Now then, just envision a biblical swarm of crickets smothering that batshit crazy biatch.
Put a picture of a cricket on your screensaver to remind you.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 8:19 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.
Point taken. Thank you. I must have the following conversation in my head when this sort of thing happens again:
"How dare she! Does she not realize, remember, etc.?"
"She may or she may not. It doesn't matter."
"But if I remind her of --"
"No. Don't bother. It won't make any difference. It won't penetrate."
"But it's not fair."
"No, it sure isn't."
"So, if I must respond, just the facts?"
"Yes, just the facts. Take some breaths, scream aloud to yourself what you really want to say, and then respond factually, emotionlessly, with as few words as possible."
"Because it doesn't matter?"
"Correct. It doesn't matter."
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 8:30 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
ugggh...
wow she is a special brand of NPD/PA crazy.
she is just trying to hang on to a thread of contact and control with you.
crickets crickets crickets. your attitude is fine. i'm pretty sure it wasn't you making drama to the last minute.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 8:34 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Oh come on.
Who didn't see this coming??
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:10 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
What a fucking brain damaged psycho. Seriously though.....
Fuck her, and fuck her for attempting to manipulate you....
"
I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."
She can suck it.
A dig here and there may give you some tiny bit of vindication. As long as you don't get sucked back in. The one and done response is fine.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Merlin ( member #30221) posted at 9:55 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
continues to serve me well: None.
Abbondad
Heed your own words. Soon enough, the reaction in your head will follow.
She is a real piece of work.
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 10:07 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Of COURSE she doesn't want it. She insisted on it to try and upset you. It didn't work. You said take it. Now that it's over, she doesn't have room for it. You knew that. Now, she wants you to take it, so somewhere down the road she can scream, maybe to the courts, that YOU have the chair that SHE was awarded in the D! See how nice she is? She gave you the chair! Your honor! It doesn't matter that I haven't paid my CS, he has THE CHAIR!!
Yeah. Your new lazyboy will be perfect. 
BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
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