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Newest Member: chachapoppyseed (45751)

User Topic: The lazy boy saga concludes. Calm me down.
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For those of you who followed my story:

Just got a text from ex, who only now is taking her stuff from the house: "Do you want the lazy boy? I don't want it."

(She said the same for two other items she had insanely insisted on.)

I took a deep breath and texted back that I don't want the lazy boy, that I will no longer discuss "things," and that anything else she doesn't want she should leave out for trash collection.

She texted pissily, "Fine, no problem."

Vile, clueless and mentally ill.

(And I meant it. At this point I don't want the chair. It's "ruined" for me. It's good enough for me that POS won't be sitting in it in front of my children.)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1678 | Registered: Dec 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10030 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
5454real
♂ 37455
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol Lol,Lol,Lol,Lol

breathe dammit

( wiping tears from my eyes)

Sigh, I got nothing


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3173 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I know is, your next chair will be yours alone, and no one can ever use it as a bartering chip in a crazy negotiation intended to break your spirit.

So, that's something.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow....just, wow


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Softcentre
39166
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - passive aggressive, tt'ing, gaslighting...multiple EA's with different women (1 'proven') and at least 1 PA

Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him.

"Until God opens the next do


Posts: 1104 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just received this text:

"I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."

After running through a thousand retorts, I finally settled on the default, which continues to serve me well: None.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1678 | Registered: Dec 2012
DeadMumWalking
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

unbe-fucking-lievable.

Oh yeah, she's fucking cray-cray

crickets.


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Gemini71
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a B!tch!

Good job on the crickets. Eventually she'll figure out that you're not married anymore.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 1:59 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1976 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you didn't really know her true colors before you know now!

Unfricking believable.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 817 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I needed to add, I would not respond to anything else. You have more important things to do.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 817 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you really want no drama, no more "sagas?" Because if you do, then think back to the 80s and go with "JUST SAY NO." Maybe even "no thanks."

She asked a question. A reasonable question really. Because if you drove by and said Lazy Boy was on the curb with no offer to you it would be "She could have at least asked me if I wanted it! My kids gave it to me...."

So. She asked. You decided you didn't want it. Communication necessary. But additional ego kibble and drama llama feeding of "I am not going to discuss this kind of thing with you." and then telling her what to do with all of her future possible offers was just inviting further communication. Kind of like walking through a room and announcing "I am still NOT TALKING TO YOU." If you aren't talking.... You don't talk!!

The follow up "sorry you have a bad attitude" text is a direct result of the extra syllables you gave her. Do you see that? Others have suggested it before. Try to imagine she is a random moving guy and he stumbled on something that might be yours. Asked and answered. Moving on! No drama. No saga. No emotion.

Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.

eta: read more harshly than I intended. tried to clarify

[This message edited by caregiver9000 at 2:13 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5911 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Undefinabl3
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nature_Girl

We ALL knew that this crazy lady's crazy would not go away because they are divorced, but COME.ON woman....seriously....


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.

Posts: 1821 | Registered: Sep 2012
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Think of the extra syllables as gasoline. You don't want that anywhere near a flame...

Now then, just envision a biblical swarm of crickets smothering that batshit crazy biatch.

Put a picture of a cricket on your screensaver to remind you.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17708 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.

Point taken. Thank you. I must have the following conversation in my head when this sort of thing happens again:

"How dare she! Does she not realize, remember, etc.?"

"She may or she may not. It doesn't matter."

"But if I remind her of --"

"No. Don't bother. It won't make any difference. It won't penetrate."

"But it's not fair."

"No, it sure isn't."

"So, if I must respond, just the facts?"

"Yes, just the facts. Take some breaths, scream aloud to yourself what you really want to say, and then respond factually, emotionlessly, with as few words as possible."

"Because it doesn't matter?"

"Correct. It doesn't matter."


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1678 | Registered: Dec 2012
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ugggh...

wow she is a special brand of NPD/PA crazy.

she is just trying to hang on to a thread of contact and control with you.

crickets crickets crickets. your attitude is fine. i'm pretty sure it wasn't you making drama to the last minute.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh come on.

Who didn't see this coming??


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7916 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a fucking brain damaged psycho. Seriously though.....
Fuck her, and fuck her for attempting to manipulate you....
"
I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."

She can suck it.
A dig here and there may give you some tiny bit of vindication. As long as you don't get sucked back in. The one and done response is fine.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8798 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Merlin
♂ 30221
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

continues to serve me well: None.
Abbondad

Heed your own words. Soon enough, the reaction in your head will follow.

She is a real piece of work.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, April 16th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of COURSE she doesn't want it. She insisted on it to try and upset you. It didn't work. You said take it. Now that it's over, she doesn't have room for it. You knew that. Now, she wants you to take it, so somewhere down the road she can scream, maybe to the courts, that YOU have the chair that SHE was awarded in the D! See how nice she is? She gave you the chair! Your honor! It doesn't matter that I haven't paid my CS, he has THE CHAIR!!

Yeah. Your new lazyboy will be perfect.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5588 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 40
Pages: 1 · 2

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