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Abbondad posted 4/16/2014 12:18 PM

For those of you who followed my story:

Just got a text from ex, who only now is taking her stuff from the house: "Do you want the lazy boy? I don't want it."

(She said the same for two other items she had insanely insisted on.)

I took a deep breath and texted back that I don't want the lazy boy, that I will no longer discuss "things," and that anything else she doesn't want she should leave out for trash collection.

She texted pissily, "Fine, no problem."

Vile, clueless and mentally ill.

(And I meant it. At this point I don't want the chair. It's "ruined" for me. It's good enough for me that POS won't be sitting in it in front of my children.)

Nature_Girl posted 4/16/2014 12:28 PM

5454real posted 4/16/2014 12:33 PM

Lol Lol,Lol,Lol,Lol

breathe dammit

( wiping tears from my eyes)

Sigh, I got nothing

norabird posted 4/16/2014 12:39 PM

All I know is, your next chair will be yours alone, and no one can ever use it as a bartering chip in a crazy negotiation intended to break your spirit.

So, that's something.

Dreamboat posted 4/16/2014 12:44 PM

wow....just, wow

Softcentre posted 4/16/2014 13:32 PM

Abbondad posted 4/16/2014 13:34 PM

Just received this text:

"I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."

After running through a thousand retorts, I finally settled on the default, which continues to serve me well: None.

DeadMumWalking posted 4/16/2014 13:56 PM

unbe-fucking-lievable.

Oh yeah, she's fucking cray-cray

crickets.

Gemini71 posted 4/16/2014 13:59 PM

What a B!tch!

Good job on the crickets. Eventually she'll figure out that you're not married anymore.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 1:59 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]

Must Survive posted 4/16/2014 14:10 PM

If you didn't really know her true colors before you know now!

Unfricking believable.

Must Survive posted 4/16/2014 14:10 PM

And I needed to add, I would not respond to anything else. You have more important things to do.

caregiver9000 posted 4/16/2014 14:11 PM

Do you really want no drama, no more "sagas?" Because if you do, then think back to the 80s and go with "JUST SAY NO." Maybe even "no thanks."

She asked a question. A reasonable question really. Because if you drove by and said Lazy Boy was on the curb with no offer to you it would be "She could have at least asked me if I wanted it! My kids gave it to me...."

So. She asked. You decided you didn't want it. Communication necessary. But additional ego kibble and drama llama feeding of "I am not going to discuss this kind of thing with you." and then telling her what to do with all of her future possible offers was just inviting further communication. Kind of like walking through a room and announcing "I am still NOT TALKING TO YOU." If you aren't talking.... You don't talk!!

The follow up "sorry you have a bad attitude" text is a direct result of the extra syllables you gave her. Do you see that? Others have suggested it before. Try to imagine she is a random moving guy and he stumbled on something that might be yours. Asked and answered. Moving on! No drama. No saga. No emotion.

Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.

eta: read more harshly than I intended. tried to clarify

[This message edited by caregiver9000 at 2:13 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]

Undefinabl3 posted 4/16/2014 14:13 PM

Nature_Girl

We ALL knew that this crazy lady's crazy would not go away because they are divorced, but COME.ON woman....seriously....

FaithFool posted 4/16/2014 14:19 PM

Think of the extra syllables as gasoline. You don't want that anywhere near a flame...

Now then, just envision a biblical swarm of crickets smothering that batshit crazy biatch.

Put a picture of a cricket on your screensaver to remind you.

Abbondad posted 4/16/2014 14:19 PM

Sure there is emotion. It is natural. But take the emotion out of the exchanges and the actual emotions will go away faster.

Point taken. Thank you. I must have the following conversation in my head when this sort of thing happens again:

"How dare she! Does she not realize, remember, etc.?"

"She may or she may not. It doesn't matter."

"But if I remind her of --"

"No. Don't bother. It won't make any difference. It won't penetrate."

"But it's not fair."

"No, it sure isn't."

"So, if I must respond, just the facts?"

"Yes, just the facts. Take some breaths, scream aloud to yourself what you really want to say, and then respond factually, emotionlessly, with as few words as possible."

"Because it doesn't matter?"

"Correct. It doesn't matter."

hexed posted 4/16/2014 14:30 PM

ugggh...

wow she is a special brand of NPD/PA crazy.

she is just trying to hang on to a thread of contact and control with you.

crickets crickets crickets. your attitude is fine. i'm pretty sure it wasn't you making drama to the last minute.

confused615 posted 4/16/2014 14:34 PM

Oh come on.

Who didn't see this coming??

tushnurse posted 4/16/2014 15:10 PM

What a fucking brain damaged psycho. Seriously though.....
Fuck her, and fuck her for attempting to manipulate you....
"

I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."

She can suck it.
A dig here and there may give you some tiny bit of vindication. As long as you don't get sucked back in. The one and done response is fine.

Merlin posted 4/16/2014 15:55 PM

continues to serve me well: None.
Abbondad

Heed your own words. Soon enough, the reaction in your head will follow.

She is a real piece of work.

devistatedmom posted 4/16/2014 16:07 PM

Of COURSE she doesn't want it. She insisted on it to try and upset you. It didn't work. You said take it. Now that it's over, she doesn't have room for it. You knew that. Now, she wants you to take it, so somewhere down the road she can scream, maybe to the courts, that YOU have the chair that SHE was awarded in the D! See how nice she is? She gave you the chair! Your honor! It doesn't matter that I haven't paid my CS, he has THE CHAIR!!

Yeah. Your new lazyboy will be perfect.