Once you've seen under the mask it is terribly difficult for you and for him to keep putting it back into place.
His goal wasn't growth or healing - it was to reopen the bakery.
Live and learn - better now than a decade from now.
The cruelty is astonishing - the sad clown morphed back into the parasite that he is within 2 short months of False R - his idea of R was rugsweeping and promises to not fuck anyone else again. He was offended I didn't trust him to slip slide on that slippery slope as he has always done.
He said to me "I can't be in an M without trust" - I burst out laughing in his face and said "Me either dude, me either".
The he hoovered me to the point of madness - I was a complete shell of a person. Only then was his job done. I'll never understand it and I no longer care to. His complete lack of remorse was a gift - it forced my hand well before had the strength or courage to free myself.
I am not looking forward to the day that he gives it another crack. I fear he will never stop. He'll appear like he grim reaper every few years until I can block him completely from my life when my girls are grown. I predict he'll then play the poor me victim for them because the nasty XW won't give him a fourth chance.
I would rather sew it up.
Faithful - you gave it everything you could but you simply cannot R on your own. The sooner you evict this guy from your heart and mind the better. Find your anger, girl!!