It's been a very long time since I've posted anything, and I'm very happy to inform you that my wife and I are still together, and are still in the best marraige we have ever been in the whole time we've been together. It is possible to recover, it is possible to be happy, and it is possible to move on.
You must set your expectations. You will never again have the marraige that you once had. It could be better, it could be worse, but you have to realize that any type of Chase after what you once had is energy that you could spend much more wisely. I look at me before her ONS, and I see someone who could have been more and done more, and I see the same in her. We didn't have what it took, and I left the window open, and someone snuck in. The blame isn't on just one person in my case, although I don't take blame for what she did. I do take responsibility for not being present and showing her how important she truly was.
If you can realize that it is possible to have something better, but not the same as what you had, the doors to any future you want are opened wide. It took a long time to realize that. I am a fixer, and I kept trying to put all of the pieces back in their places. No matter how I tried, I could not get the same feeling back that I once had. I truly suffered during this time and thought I would hurt the other guy or myself.
Over the past few months, I've realized that I don't want what I had. I want what I have. She is 100% committed to me, and I am to her. We hold each other, and see each other, more than we ever did.
I still feel pain, I still require a stiff drink every once in a while, but I realize that it will keep getting better. It's been 16 months since we recommitted, 18 months since I found out, and 31 months since it happened. Those who have been there will say that I'm still in the infancy of my healing process, and I completely agree.
I am hopeful that my path continues to improve, and that this bump in the road eventually becomes too hard to see in the rear view mirror.
Good luck everyone,