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What do you say when meeting your SO's ex?

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Ms_Strong posted 4/16/2014 19:28 PM

I'm going to a party this weekend, and a woman that my boyfriend dated a few years ago is going to be there. I saw he invited on Facebook so he doesn't even know I know. He's never mentioned her to me ever before so she's not an important part of his past. We have mutual friends that have filled me in. It'll be awkward for me if the "so how do you know X?" comes up, and she answers "We used to date"I don't know what to say to that. The worse thing is, he's going to be at work for the first portion of the party so I'll be there without him - which I was OK with but now she's going to be there, I'm anxious. Ideas please on what to say and how to handle it. Maybe the wittier the better...

inconnu posted 4/16/2014 20:37 PM

I'm pretty sure I didn't say much of anything when I ended up accidentally running into SO's ex-wife. She did all of the talking. I nodded, a lot. SO and I had really been trying to avoid her, as I had no desire to ever meet her, but we zigged when we should have zagged, and there she was, all excited to be meeting me. It was...awkward. But also kind of funny. It was obvious SO's ex was really curious about me.

UndecidedinMA posted 4/16/2014 21:08 PM

a woman that my boyfriend dated a few years ago

Say "HI, I am Ms Strong. It is nice to meet you" She is not an ex wife, just a girl he dated. Heck you may have met others & don't know it.

I have met women my FWSO dated, no biggie. He is with me, not them for a reason.

fireproof posted 4/16/2014 22:00 PM

I would say hi if you are introduced and make conversation if prompted. Otherwise I would treat her like any other guest.

Ex's have moved on themselves. If there is an issue then the more awkward you are the more the situation will feed.

You are his SO now and enjoy! She is non-significant!

better4me posted 4/17/2014 09:58 AM

It'll be awkward for me if the "so how do you know X?" comes up, and she answers "We used to date"I don't know what to say to that.

You say, "oh, cool" and then change the subject to something innocuous...like "how do you know our host?" or "beautiful weather we've been having lately" etc...Treat her like you would anybody else you meet for the first time at the party. Because that is all she is, someone you are meeting for the first time at the party.

Ms_Strong posted 4/18/2014 03:55 AM

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I will play it cool!

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