my DDay was in Nov 2011, when I discovered that my WH was having an EA with a woman from work.
I *thought* he was done with it. I *thought* we were in R, and that he was remorseful. I *thought* he would never ever hurt me after seeing how devastated I was in facing it. I was truly blindsided when I looked at our cell bill and saw thousands and thousands of texts between them. He promised he would do whatever it took to earn my forgiveness and he would never, ever hurt me again.
then I found a "music stik" in his overnight bag, just a few weeks ago, so 2 1/2 yrs after DDay. I knew immediately who it was from. The music on it was love songs, (if you go looking I have a thread here with some of the titles) as well as some healing music you would hear when getting a massage, etc. (in 2011, he was facing a re-diagnosis of cancer, so she was "helping)
the songs on this thing make me almost positive it was also a PA, but he denies it, of course. problem is, he's never really admitted to anything if I didn't have absolute proof, so who the hell knows. It doesn't really matter.
the reality is this, for me, right at this moment::
2 1/2 yrs after he was "done with her/it" I found this thing in m house. He brought it into my house (it's formatted 6/12, so sometime around then) KNOWING the absolute pain he caused me. he took the chance, for not quite 2 yrs, that I would find it, KNOWING it would cause me pain again. But he kept it. says he forgot it was there, NO I don't believe that.
reality sucks. the reality is that I'm almost positive I don't want to do this anymore. If I stay with him, I'll be hurt again, because the reality is that he is a liar. He lies. He's always lied. He lies about the fact that he was going to lie. My wonderful times with him were lies.
I don't want to live with a liar. I have no faith that he will ever be anything else.
that is reality, for me, and it sucks.