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Complete lack of boundaries...

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karmahappens posted 4/17/2014 12:02 PM

I work in a post 9/11 secured room. Only 3 of us in here today.

Not busy. I look over and the gentleman I work with is playing with his shiny new smart phone.

He hands it to me and says here, look...these are balconies in Florida that had a contest for the prettiest flowers.

I look and start to scroll through the flowers, some really gorgeous arrangements. About five photos in and there is a shot of a balcony full of Marigolds accompanied by a man and woman, completely naked, having sex.

WTF? I look up, horrified and embarrassed and the guy is looking at me, laughing like he just invented the joke.

I handed the phone back and let him know I was offended by it and his actions made me uncomfortable.

He just kept laughing....totally went over his head.

I know now not to ever look at anything he wants to show me again, lesson learned, but really WHO does that?

Razor posted 4/17/2014 12:08 PM

WTH????

What is up with some people that they can even THINK this sort of this is funny? Ive seen guys share this stuff between themselves and I think thats not right. But for a guy to share something like this with a woman?? Wrong wrong wrong on allot of levels.

Maybe Im just a prude though.

itainteasy posted 4/17/2014 12:09 PM

that's sexual harrassment. I'd report it to your supervisor.

lieshurt posted 4/17/2014 12:12 PM

He just kept laughing

And this would be why I'd report it. It's not that he didn't know he was being inappropriate. He knew it and just didn't care. He purposely did that to you and that is unacceptable.

OutoftheDeep posted 4/17/2014 12:39 PM

Completely unacceptable behavior. I quit a job two months ago because of my boss acting similiarly. Unfortunately he was the company owner and there was no HR.

What a jerk.

I'm sure he was fishing as well. If you had thought that was funny, he would have started stepping it up, step by step, to test your boundaries, probably looking for an A.

I feel like this is what my boss was starting to do.

Schadenfreude posted 4/17/2014 12:45 PM

This type of behavior at work keeps legions of lawyers busy with sexual harassment lawsuits. It's called "hostile work environment" in thee trade. Do you have HR department to report it to? He can deny, of course, but he'll know he is being watched.

simplydevastated posted 4/17/2014 12:49 PM

Wow!

All I would have said was "I have two letters for you. H..R... and walked out with his phone." I bet he wouldn't be laughing then.

Nature_Girl posted 4/17/2014 12:49 PM

I would have immediately gotten up out of my chair & walked directly to the HR department, his phone still in my hand.

karmahappens posted 4/17/2014 14:20 PM

I didn't go to HR, but I reported it to our union rep and advised him to have someone deal with him or I would report him.

I hope he listens or he won't have a job, idiot.

7yrsflushed posted 4/17/2014 14:27 PM

I didn't go to HR, but I reported it to our union rep and advised him to have someone deal with him or I would report him.
Does your company have an ethics hotline. You should report it to the ethics hotline and notify your direct supervisor. Unless your Union rep has a corporate/company obligation to report it he could just go up to the guy and tell him to stop. If you officially report it up your chain of command or through the ethics hotline there is official documentation of the complaint.

allusions posted 4/17/2014 15:07 PM

Absolutely report this to your supervisor and HR. It is a very serious offense.

authenticnow posted 4/17/2014 15:09 PM

What an asshole. I'm glad you went to your union rep. People keep doing things like this because nobody bothers to stop it. You were right to do so.

meplusfour posted 4/17/2014 15:47 PM

Kudos to you for doing the right thing.

MissMouseMo posted 4/17/2014 17:43 PM

I'm glad you reported him to the union rep but I urge you to report him to the company as well.

That triggered me *hard*. A man who would do that is dangerous to some of us who aren't as strong as you are.

I beseech you: please do everything you can.

That kind of sexual aggression MUST be stopped in its tracks forcefully and swiftly. Just like infidelity, I expect he will whine about how he's the victim because "it was nothing" but to some of us it's HUGE and frightening. I don't want to put the burden of protecting every woman on your shoulders, but I really hope you'll out him so he can't laugh at other woman's shock (and fear?).

(Sorry for my earnestness. Seriously triggered.)

nekorb posted 4/17/2014 20:07 PM

Good for you for reporting him. Asshole.

gonnabe2016 posted 4/17/2014 22:35 PM

(just fyi -- One instance of showing an inappropriate photo does not create a hostile work environment.)

Look at your employer's harassment policy, Karma. Make sure that you reported the incident to the 'proper' person according to the guideline.

Also, someone will almost surely have a discussion with the guy about the incident. If, after his 'talking to', he cops an attitude with you.....tell him that his 'joke' offended you as a woman so you followed company policy. Let's just move on. No harm, no foul.
If he continues to give you 'attitude' after that? Report him again.

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 10:37 PM, April 17th (Thursday)]

karmahappens posted 4/18/2014 08:35 AM

Thanks guys. I went to the union because if i Went to hr he would lose his job.

I have worked with this guy for three years. He lacks boundaries and says the most inappropriate things. I have been able to ignore him because I never felt targeted.

I am hoping the union rep can get through to him so he doesn't lose his job.

I won't work with him again until next week but am surprised to find myself uncomfortable with the thoughts of bumping into him.

I hope he listens, but fear his issues run deep. He might be good for a bit and then think he can loosen up

Jduff posted 4/18/2014 10:29 AM

I have worked with this guy for three years. He lacks boundaries and says the most inappropriate things. I have been able to ignore him because I never felt targeted.

I am hoping the union rep can get through to him so he doesn't lose his job.

I won't work with him again until next week but am surprised to find myself uncomfortable with the thoughts of bumping into him.

And that is a hostile work environment. You shouldn't have to deal with or be uncomfortable with a co-workers displaying inappropriate behavior. Being that your in a secured room, this individual should be removed as he clearly lacks the character to be trusted in a secured environment of any kind. I don't know what specific duties your work performs, but if it involves secured access with sensitive material then this guy is showing a clear lack of integrity to be trusted for the job. He's an easy target to be "turned" for unauthorized access by an outside source. It's amazing what guys like that will give up for a piece of ass.

Skan posted 4/18/2014 14:52 PM

And then, if he starts showing his true colors again, you go to HR and tell them that you have already complained to your Union Rep named X, and since that didn't help, you now consider that this moron is going to continue to harass you while at work and you expect action.

You gave him the courtesy of firing a warning shot across his bow. If he ignores that, then you need to aim squarely at him.

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