thats it for now.
I feel so disrespected by the world, by numerous people, by life. Ive always tried to be the bigger person and sometimes that shit gets old. People take kindness for weakness. At one point I was kind to OW, because I knew it wasnt JUST her fault. Thinking maybe if I showed her I was human, If i respected her as the mother of my fws child MAYBE she would build respect for me. For a while it seemed okay, but all in all she took it as weakness. I wont make that mistake again. Treat others as youd like to be treated...sure fine whatever.
"Now I know that's contradiction, wants and needs in competition/But it's hard to stay on point with such extremes in opposition."
Me - BS
Him - FWS, serial long term EAs
That was a good rant, hon. Hope it helped a little just to get it out.
I don't think you need to stop seeing good in people or lose your empathy. Maybe you need to start seeing it in you. You deserve happiness. You deserve all the things you offer others...even from yourself. If you always do so much for your H, does he do things for you as well? Does he give as much to the relationship as you?
I have felt the same way before. I'm sure we all have. Sometimes we feel like we've given and given and someone doesn't even notice or appreciate it. That's what leads to the resentment and then the anger.
I hope today you can find some time to take care of you for awhile.
I feel like Ive lost all control of my life.
Yes! That ^^ I so get it. I also understand about the parenting. I know my parenting took a nose-dive with all the sh*tstorm wh threw at us. I regret that more than the marriage crap.
I'm sorry for your hard day(s).
To answer your question Teach8, Honestly no he doesnt give as much as I do. But he does give, and through our relationship he's become more giving and more affectionate. I think I may be rubbing off on him. He does do a lot to make me feel special.
I will not let the actions of others determine who I am. I will prove that good does prevail. Thanks for the support. Im having a wayyyy better day today!