This Topic is Archived
byefornow (original poster member #41992) posted at 11:05 PM on Friday, April 18th, 2014
Today I was off from work and while I was picking up the house, I had the TV on. It was Dr. Phil whom I honestly have never watched. I was just lazy and didnt change the channel.
But the topic was to stay or leave? The first couple had some abusive man and wasnt pertinent. But the second couple was an infideliy couple. The man had cheated multiple times during their 16 year marriage.
Dr. Phil said to the woman, the question about staying should be answered by this "do you trust yourself enough to know you are a strong enough woman that if he cheats again you will be emotionally ok?"
I was stunned. I had never thought of it that way and if I had to answer today I would say no. I am not strong enough. But, is that what TIME will give me? I am 6 month from DDay.
Anyone have thoughts on this? I know it is a TV show, but I was still sorta interested in the comment.
BW- me
WH - him
married over 25 years
freeatlast72 ( member #42758) posted at 11:18 PM on Friday, April 18th, 2014
Your post reminds me of a Dr. Phil quote:
"Divorce doesn't solve your problems, it just create new ones"......
BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
dameia ( member #36072) posted at 5:15 AM on Saturday, April 19th, 2014
I'm almost two hears out from DDay. Am I strong enough to survive if WH cheats again?
Absolutely. I've survived this long haven't I? 
It would hurt...it would devastate me. But I would survive and recover because there is no other choice. I MUST survive.
Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.
Furious1 ( member #42970) posted at 5:48 AM on Saturday, April 19th, 2014
My IC asked me this a few months ago when I was talking to him about deciding whether to stay or go.
I can say with confidence that I am. I have been through hell and back and I'm still standing. There is one thing I keep thinking about. If WH were to blow this chance, I will walk away secure in the knowledge that he is not someone I want to share my life with. There will be no wondering if we could have worked it out. There will be no doubts about whether he can be a good husband for me. There will be no wiggle room for him to weasel his way back into my life.
One way or another, I am going to have a happy life. WH can get on board or get out of my way. I can handle whatever life throws at me. It might knock me down, but I've had a lot of practice with getting back up.
BW (me): 46
2 adult kids
D-day: 10/4/13.
Divorced
This Topic is Archived
