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Newest Member: YoungNInLove (61865)

User Topic: Strong enough
♀ 41992
Member # 41992
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today I was off from work and while I was picking up the house, I had the TV on. It was Dr. Phil whom I honestly have never watched. I was just lazy and didnt change the channel.

But the topic was to stay or leave? The first couple had some abusive man and wasnt pertinent. But the second couple was an infideliy couple. The man had cheated multiple times during their 16 year marriage.

Dr. Phil said to the woman, the question about staying should be answered by this "do you trust yourself enough to know you are a strong enough woman that if he cheats again you will be emotionally ok?"

I was stunned. I had never thought of it that way and if I had to answer today I would say no. I am not strong enough. But, is that what TIME will give me? I am 6 month from DDay.

Anyone have thoughts on this? I know it is a TV show, but I was still sorta interested in the comment.

BW- me
WH - him
married over 25 years

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
♀ 42758
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your post reminds me of a Dr. Phil quote:

"Divorce doesn't solve your problems, it just create new ones"......

Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

Posts: 137 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
♀ 36072
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm almost two hears out from DDay. Am I strong enough to survive if WH cheats again?

Absolutely. I've survived this long haven't I?

It would would devastate me. But I would survive and recover because there is no other choice. I MUST survive.

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ 42970
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, April 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My IC asked me this a few months ago when I was talking to him about deciding whether to stay or go.

I can say with confidence that I am. I have been through hell and back and I'm still standing. There is one thing I keep thinking about. If WH were to blow this chance, I will walk away secure in the knowledge that he is not someone I want to share my life with. There will be no wondering if we could have worked it out. There will be no doubts about whether he can be a good husband for me. There will be no wiggle room for him to weasel his way back into my life.

One way or another, I am going to have a happy life. WH can get on board or get out of my way. I can handle whatever life throws at me. It might knock me down, but I've had a lot of practice with getting back up.

BW (me): 43 WH (him): 51
3 adult kids (his, mine, and ours)
D-day: 10/4/13. Married 21 years. Numerous A's spanning 19 years and a 11 year PA with my sister. A went underground for a year after D-day. Polygraph on 1/11/17. He passed.

Posts: 6668 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 4

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