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How is your temper?

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LivingLearning posted 4/20/2014 17:05 PM

Since the A, I have found that I have become very short tempered about the smallest, most stupid stuff. For example, yesterday a container opened in my bag and a few items fell out in my bag. One fell to the bottom and I had to take almost everything out to get to it. It made me really upset. I mean really upset. I almost wanted to cry.

This was never me before. I was the person that let things slide all the time, nothing really frustrated me. I never understood people that would get anxious when things didn't turn out the way they thought. I could go with the flow. Now I am almost in tears over stuff falling out in my bag. Anyone else have this happen to them? Does an A change our psyche?

Breezy150 posted 4/20/2014 17:13 PM

I am doing the same thing, I just don't have any patience anymore. I am wound up way too tight all the time, for me some anti anxiety meds have helped immensely, sometimes anxiety presents itself in many different ways.

Best of luck (((hugs)))

LivingLearning posted 4/20/2014 18:51 PM

Thanks Breezy. My IC has me to breathing techniques to calm myself down. They do help when I can actually convince myself to do them.

Breezy150 posted 4/20/2014 21:03 PM

That kind of stuff helps a lot too. Exercise they say helps tons, I haven't gotten to that yet. it does get better, every week I find myself being more patient and tolerant.

Make sure you are getting enough sleep, sleep deprivation makes everybody grumpy and irritable.

LivingLearning posted 4/21/2014 01:17 AM

Make sure you are getting enough sleep, sleep deprivation makes everybody grumpy and irritable.

Isn't that the truth! (my phone won't let me quote)

Ostrich80 posted 4/21/2014 01:43 AM

I have a pretty short fuse these days too...usually its days that I'm sleep deprived...just makes it worse. Mines not a mad like I I want to hurt someone, its more anger, than a good pity cry lol..why me??? Pretty pathetic and.I usually feel like a big baby afterwards

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 1:44 AM, April 21st (Monday)]

BeautifulEmpty posted 4/21/2014 04:36 AM

Me too...I cry over everything, good or bad. I trigger constantly and I'm very irritable.
Usually, any and all of this ends in a pity rant or cry or both.
I'm sick of it.
I start to wonder if I ever had control over my emotions or has it just been so long, I can no longer remember?
Idk, I'm really tired of it,
I can't even have a conversation with my H without dissolving into upset. He isn't contributing to it any more. It just feels like what he did was enough for the rest of my stupid, ugly, upset life.

tl502 posted 4/21/2014 07:29 AM

I do have the same issues as well. I have gotten very careful about putting things away so I can find them easily. I always give myself longer than necessary for every task so I don't feel pressured by timelines because that seems to make it worse. I go for walks and have started reading more to relieve the stress. Allow yourself time to do things just for yourself, its the best gift you can give your family.

TheBestMe posted 4/21/2014 10:44 AM

Well, it's no secret that I have to work very hard at controlling my temper. In the past, my emotions were buried and stuffed inside. My mom is from the south and I was taught that a strong woman does not cry. She does what she has to do and keeps it moving. Even showing happiness was negative; "Don't always show your teeth".(people from Southern backgrounds know what I mean).

Through intensive work, I am getting comfortable in letting out my emotions. This infidelity stuff HURTS and I cry a lot.

LivingLearning posted 4/21/2014 22:26 PM

Ostrich80, agreed! Anger at things that I wouldn't normally be angry about.

((BeautifulEmpty)) Stay strong and remember to focus on yourself.

tl502, Going on walks are also my thing! They really help me to focus on what I am trying to get out of this whole thing.

TheBestMe, that is so hard to deal with, dealing with people that don't want you to show emotion. I hope they begin to see that sharing emotion is a good thing.

Losttransport posted 4/21/2014 22:46 PM

My temper is sometimes close to the surface, but I bury it a lot. Sometimes it sneaks out as sarcasm, which is just anger in disguise. When I feel myself getting angry I just go to a quiet place and breathe, or journal, or stamp my feet, lol! Hey sometimes mommy needs a time out too :)

cancuncrushed posted 4/21/2014 23:08 PM

Bad. Really bad.

Furious1 posted 4/22/2014 05:19 AM

I am much more emotional now, but my IC seems to think that is a good thing. Prior to D-day, I was very badly depressed (suspicious but had no proof and WH was gaslighting me).

IC has been more focused on getting me to let myself feel whatever I feel instead of turning it inward into more depression. I am sometimes scared of the power of my emotions and I am learning how to better handle them most of the time. I feel like an epic failure when I don't.

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