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fear, panic... but I wanted this!

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mbbd posted 4/20/2014 19:23 PM

My WH is taking a polygraph at our home on Tuesday. When the AP called me to tell me of the affair she said " He won't leave you, and it's hurt me so the only way I can hurt him back is to get to you. He told me he had another affair years ago so woman to woman, you should know who you are married to" My H says that he had lied to her on so many levels and this was a tremendous lie and not the truth at all. He says it was a fantasy to be the cassanova and be wanted. After 18 months of MC, I gave him an unltimatum that I want the polygraph. PERIOD. Now it's here and I am totally panicked. I was told the examiner will interview me and make sure that we word the questions to ensure that I don't feel that I left something out. This whole thing has me shaking. Please tell me what questions you asked if you did a poly.
My H had initially declined doing this at all and now he says he gets why I need it. Our efforts toward R are going so well but I don't know what I will do if it comes back that there was indeed a prior affair. He is afraid of a false positive and relies on the theory that they aren't admissible in court for a reason/ I say that if the situation were reversed that I would not fear a false positive. I would run for the test if it would relieve some of the pressure from him. Your comments are so appreciated. I haven't posted my full story on my profile but could really use the support on this one.

rachelc posted 4/20/2014 19:29 PM

It's my opinion this is exactly what you need. Please go through with it for your own sake

mbbd posted 4/20/2014 20:42 PM

Going through with it is definite. Asking the right questions and facing the outcome are my issues... but thank you for the nod of strength.

[This message edited by mbbd at 8:43 PM, April 20th (Sunday)]

Skan posted 4/20/2014 21:00 PM

Do it. You will regret not doing it, IMO.

mbbd posted 4/22/2014 07:27 AM

and the polygrapher is coming in 2 hours and I'm still not sure I feel like my list of questions is all I want. How maddening is this! Did any of you get satisfaction after a polygraph?

mbbd posted 4/22/2014 07:27 AM

[This message edited by mbbd at 7:54 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)]

karmahappens posted 4/22/2014 08:43 AM

Fingers crossed that this brings you relief.


mbbd posted 4/22/2014 10:51 AM

Done. Went very well. No prior affair. I feel like this was a wonderful step toward my healing. I feel like I do know all that I can from the past and can look with clearer vision toward the future.

karmahappens posted 4/22/2014 10:55 AM


Good for you for having the strength to do this.

Kudos to your husband for taking it.

One great step forward (((hugs)))

mbbd posted 4/22/2014 14:42 PM

thank you, karmahappens, your support was so appreciated.

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