Its getting easier and easier to do this. Let his stupid crap roll off my back. This year was my turn to have the boys for Easter. He had asked last week if his parents came to visit if they could see the boys a little over the weekend and I was fine with working some time out.
We had a lovely Easter morning and on the way home from church I get a text from him (his parents never came down btw)
Him: can I stop and see the kids at some point?
(why he even thinks he is entitled to is annoying and I don't want him just hanging here while I am straightening up for family dinner but I am a nice person and know my kids would enjoy time so...)
Me: we will be home getting cleaning done. Would you like to pick them up and take them to lunch or something for a bit?
(out of my house...)
Him: yeah, that'd be good. 1:15?
Me: yes, I need them to straighten their rooms so that gives them time to do so. Can you please have them back by 3? Company coming.
(he didn't need this info I know, but he tends to function on his own time and I needed him to know there was a reason I needed them home)
So he picks them up and waiting in the doorway with his slightly sad look says "family all coming over for dinner I guess?" and I am thinking... dude? You didn't think you'd miss any of this, why you so sad? Just nod instead...
Of course he is late... he texts me at quarter after 3 to let me know they are leaving the mall now. Um, LEAVING? So once again, no respect or appreciation that he even HAD time with them enough to have them home when they were supposed to be.
Me: so basically me saying have them back by 3 means have them back whenever you feel like...
Him: its fine, next time I won't tell you anything.
Me: no, next time I will say no you can't have them on my day because clearly you can't manage to be respectful of the time period we agree to
Him: wow, and to think the other day I was just telling someone that you weren't being a bitch to me. Funny.
(he knows I hate the B word... but seriously? I'm the bitch... the one who didn't have to share the boys with him at all!)
Crickets would have been right here I know but...
Me: I'm not. Its my holiday with the boys this year and I was fine with you having time with them, but you can't seem to be respectful of that once again...I doubt I will have the same opportunities when YOU have them through the holidays since you tend to take them to jersey. I won't get to see them for a few hours, so the holidays I DO get are valuable to me.
Nothing more from him. Probably because he thinks he succeeded in ruining the rest of my day. Which in the past would have... but no. Water on my back. I have a hard time NOT defending myself to some degree. I don't know why. Its not like I care about his opinion of me and I know its just him annoyed that its Easter and he doesn't have them so he needs to do something to ruin mine, but I'm finally at a place where I can laugh at him knowing why he does this stuff. Still working on not defending myself or giving him ego kibbles though.
Its just amazing to me. I'm the bitch... for what? Allowing him time that I didn't HAVE to on my holiday? How about, don't be an asshole! Be thankful I was gracious to you and appreciate that and actually be a grown up and leave the mall in time to be back when you are supposed to. Not when you are already 15 minutes late!