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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: Crap - I got hit by collateral damage
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Wxh is going down in flames. From what I hear, there is a pending lawsuit, possible jail time, etc over his actions.

He owes a lot of people a lot of money. This morning, one of his suppliers called me to collect on a debt because I signed a personal guarantee while we were married.

I told him the situation (they obviously don't care). He asked if I would be willing to offer some amount to get myself removed from this case. I am able to cover this debt(it's not a ton of money). However, I don't think I want to do that. I think it may be better to take my chances in front of a judge on this one.

Unfortunately, I would have to stand beside Wxh to do that.

I am very close to breaking NC, calling wxh, and letting him have a dose of williesmom on a bad day. Nobody wants that, least of all him.

I may have to pull out my "ace in the hole" and call his parents to see if they will satisfy this one.

Ugh.ugh.ugh.

Jagoff.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7866 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
deena
♀ 27275
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crap is right!!

But I am sorry I couldn't stop smiling at the rest of your post.

You sound strong with a good sense of humour. I envy that haha.

BTW I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall watching you give him

williesmom on a bad day
.

And telling his parents on him.....lol another kick to the B**** while he is down lol.

(I like this tough talk )

((((((Williesmom)))))))


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 3204 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No way should you pay anything, at least without a guarantee that your name as a personal guarantor will be removed in the future.

I don't know how you do that without paying anything...something to check with a lawyer? Is there anything else you signed for his business stuff that you should look into so it doesn't come back to bite you later? I don't know how that stuff works.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5628 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've been divorced for 6 years. I thought that I had myself removed from all of that. The guarantee was signed in 2007.

I'll have to look at the MSA when I get home. I'm thinking that I had a clause in there that said that wxh would assume all debts, future and current, for his business.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7866 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
deena
♀ 27275
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

6 years!!!!!!

Well then you should be free of him by now !!!!

There are statutes of limitation for some crime shorter than that!!


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 3204 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
one2ndchance
♀ 14759
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it may be better to take my chances in front of a judge on this one.

No matter how sympathetic he/she may be, a judge is going to follow the law. If you signed the guarantee, you're responsible.

He asked if I would be willing to offer some amount to get myself removed from this case.

You could try making him a low ball offer. They probably know your ex is a deadbeat, so they may be happy at least getting a small percentage of the debt.

The alternative to not paying is having your credit score take a big hit.


Me: BW 60
Him: STBXWH 62
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/2014

Posts: 486 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^What she said. If it's under a couple of hundred dollars I'd pay it on the proviso that I be taken off as guarantor.

Surely there's a way to so that. Do you know what else you went guarantor for him on? Can you preempt and have yourself removed?

Is there a way to collect these and go after him for them in a bundle? I'd pay a few hundred to not have to see the sad clown again. Right now I'd pay thousands.

6 years? SIX?

Note to self - NEVER EVER SIGN A GUARANTEE FOR ANYONE, EVER.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5734 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking that I had a clause in there that said that wxh would assume all debts, future and current, for his business.
^^^If you find this to be true can you then sue your EX for anything that you end up having to pay? May be worth a call to a lawyer in case there are more land mines out there.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1943 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
nightowl1975
♀ 32212
Member # 32212
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before you pay them a dime, please check into what the statute of limitations is for whatever type of debt this is. It is entirely possible the SOL has expired on a debt this old, HOWEVER, the moment you pay anything at all, it re-sets the clock on the SOL.


Me: 39
Ex: 47
D Day: 4/2010
Divorced: 7/2010

Posts: 319 | Registered: May 2011
Undefinabl3
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before you pay them a dime, please check into what the statute of limitations is for whatever type of debt this is. It is entirely possible the SOL has expired on a debt this old, HOWEVER, the moment you pay anything at all, it re-sets the clock on the SOL.


Alot of good advice.

1. Don't pay anything yet - if they have waited this long, they can wait longer until you can figure stuff out.

2. they still have to obey the law, so if they start hounding you then you can tell them to back off or you will sue for harrassment.

Talk to a lawyer if you need to to figure out what you can or can not do.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.

Posts: 1833 | Registered: Sep 2012
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((williesmom))

lots of good advice especially regardin SOL...

Collateral damage is kind of sticky and gross. There needs to be a good detergent to get rid of that kind of yuck when it gets on you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8556 | Registered: Apr 2008
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lawyer, definitely. Or if you have a law school near you, legal aid clinic question. They'd be all over it for practice I'm sure.

What a douchebag...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17796 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is $2200. Not a huge sum, but enough to hurt.

I won't be doing anything for a while.

When we were married, we had a partnership. He got the business in the divorce and created an LLC. He never notified this particular supplier of the change, so they went back to the last paperwork filed.

He is starting to piss me off.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7866 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Softcentre
39166
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is starting to piss me off.

Only now? Wow, you're a better woman than me


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - passive aggressive, tt'ing, gaslighting...multiple EA's with different women (1 'proven') and at least 1 PA

Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him.

"Until God opens the next do


Posts: 1117 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, this afternoon I got the bright idea to send him a text. Here's the exchange:

Me: Wxh, this is Williesmom. I'm inquiring about the $2200 that you owe to XXX. Please let me know if you're going to resolve it or not. Thanks.

Wxh: And what is this any of ur business how did u get my number that is what I want to no.

Me: They are asking me to pay half because I signed a guarantee back in 2007. I don't want to bother you, I just want to know if there is any action required on my part.

Wxh: No. it does not concern u. Who gave u this number

Me: I've had it for years in case I needed it. Awesome. I'll let the collection guy know that it's all yours. Thanks.

I think he brought a knife to a gunfight.

eta: AND I'll also be arming my security system as soon as the puppies and I get back from our walk. He has got to be hopping mad.

[This message edited by Williesmom at 6:03 PM, April 21st (Monday)]


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7866 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL!!! I'd love to be a fly on the wall and see his head explode when you said you always had the number and you would let the collection guy know. HEHEHEHEHE

Now, get your name off that form!!!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5628 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn, that would piss me the fuck off.
FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4830 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, April 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he brought a knife to a gunfight.

Keep that text!

Man, I'd be mortified if I had collection people after me and they contacted the sad clown.

Still winning, Wxh?


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5734 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 2:10 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rightly or wrongly, I always presume that when the divorce decree states that someone will assume <whatever> debt, that it acts as an indemnification of the other person. Meaning.....that if there is a debt out there that has your name still attached to it (because it hasn't been refinanced so that *your* name is no longer attached to it), that if you pay it so that your credit rating doesn't get tanked....that you can go after him for pay-back.

If that's the case, I wouldn't let him ruin my credit over the *principle*. I'd pay that shit off. And then I'd figure out how to get my money back from him. Because of the amount I would think "file a small claims suit" but since it is related to your decree, maybe it would be something that needs to be handled by the family law people.

Your ex is kind of a dick, huh? People are after you guys for money and all he cares about is how you got his number. If the dumb shit would pay his bills and be, oh I don't know....a somewhat responsible human being....then he would never have to hear from you again.

If you think that telling his parents would have any impact on the outcome of this scenario.....I would TOTALLY tell them. But if they aren't in a position to pony up any money, then I'd suggest just dealing with it (or not) yourself.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 5:47 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I'm still not sure how I'm going to proceed.

Local rumor has it that his parents have been paying his debts, which is why I would even bother contacting them. They would be mortified enough to take care of it immediately.

I guess that's the funny part: he is drowning in debt and facing jail time, and his biggest concern is how his ex-wife got his number? Really?

Just pay your fucking bills like a normal and responsible adult. Oh, I forgot - he's above that. He's better than the lowly people that pay their bills regularly.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7866 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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