I have decided I am telling my bf that I cheated, and I know when and how I am going to do it.
But I have to wait a week before I can. I don't get home till NEXT monday. We are still texting, and he constantly tells me he misses me and how much he loves me, and I tell him the same things. But it's killing me inside knowing he doesn't know.
As he reads "I love you so much and can't wait to see you" I'm sure he is happy. But I'm sitting here, feeling like I'm lying to him. Because he doesn't know the truth. Every time I read "I love you" or "I miss you" or anything along those lines, I break inside. Sometimes it's a while before I can reply to him, as I am so busy trying to clear tears from my face.
I want to tell him now, So I can start the process of forgiving myself and moving on, and hopefully he can to, but at he same time, telling him in a text message or over the phone is degrading and disrespectful, considering what I have already done to him.
I want him to know, so I can stop feeling guilty every time he tells me he loves me. At least if he know what I'd done, and still chose to tell me he loved me, I'd know he was telling the real me, and not the 'perfect' girlfriend he thinks he has.
