What strikes me utmost, is your use of the sentence
For the most part my bf is/has been remorseful.
If your WBF hasn't been all on board and completely remorseful, I think that I would be having very conflicting and contradictory thoughts as well, especially since "I can't remember" is such a trigger to all of us, when the Waywards use it as a delaying or denying tactic.
How about talking to him about it tonight? Letting him know about your trigger and seeking empathy?