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deena04 posted 4/22/2014 12:58 PM

I am fed up and filing. I am not even upset about it, but relieved. What is that??? Been leaning this way more and more lately, but now I just know I want it. Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind. Called the attorney to file. I am keeping it from the kids until after my daughter graduates in a few weeks.

nowiknow23 posted 4/22/2014 13:03 PM

When you're done, you're done. Sending you strength, especially for the next few weeks with all you have going on. ((((deena))))

GabyBaby posted 4/22/2014 13:10 PM

I agree with NIK.
When I was done, I was done.
Like you, I wasn't even upset at that point. I calmly told XWH that I wanted out and that he needed to find somewhere else to live.

I think my tone and matter-of-fact expression told HIM I was done too. He looked scared for a change (instead of smug).

Merlin posted 4/22/2014 13:12 PM

You made the decision. You took action.

Now it's process.


justinpaintoday posted 4/22/2014 13:23 PM

I filed because Ww wouldnt follow healthy boundries. Once you file ur M is less emotion andmore business transaction

Nature_Girl posted 4/22/2014 14:23 PM

Having my "That's it, I'm done" moment was a relief. I never wavered after that, never changed my mind, never had a doubt.

MadeOfScars posted 4/22/2014 16:09 PM

I thought my D was going to finalize last Thursday only to be derailed by paperwork snafu that my lawyer, in all her years in family law, had never seen happen. That snafu would postpone my D finalization another 10 days. My reaction to getting this news was very telling to me - I was angry and frustrated for it NOT being over, and not in any way "relieved."

A buddy of mine's wife said something after learning of this that, in her mind, was meant to be encouraging, misguided as it was. She said "maybe it being postponed is a sign that you and her aren't supposed to go through with this." It took every ounce of my being to not tell her how ridiculous that was. Those words have also not crept into my mind to build a nest of false hope of a last-minute plea for R from my stbxww. Many such nests have occupied my head earlier in this journey, but they are no longer welcome.

As has been stated, when you're done, you're done.


one2ndchance posted 4/22/2014 19:29 PM

Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind.

I kicked him out and filed for D the first time he cheated because he wouldn't stop seeing the ow. I wanted R but only if he dumped her and fully committed. He did what I asked. I stopped the divorce and he became the perfect FWH in every respect.

Ten years later, he's out looking again. You bet I felt "strongly." There was no second guessing, no hesitation, no doubt....I was done and am unequivocally certain I will NOT change my mind.

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