“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
I think my tone and matter-of-fact expression told HIM I was done too. He looked scared for a change (instead of smug).
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - F that guy.
XWH#1 (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs
I edit often for typos/clarity.
Now it's process.
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
A buddy of mine's wife said something after learning of this that, in her mind, was meant to be encouraging, misguided as it was. She said "maybe it being postponed is a sign that you and her aren't supposed to go through with this." It took every ounce of my being to not tell her how ridiculous that was. Those words have also not crept into my mind to build a nest of false hope of a last-minute plea for R from my stbxww. Many such nests have occupied my head earlier in this journey, but they are no longer welcome.
As has been stated, when you're done, you're done.
"A unicorn isn't a unicorn. It's a donkey with a plunger stuck to it's face."
Have any of you felt that strongly and ended up changing your mind.
I kicked him out and filed for D the first time he cheated because he wouldn't stop seeing the ow. I wanted R but only if he dumped her and fully committed. He did what I asked. I stopped the divorce and he became the perfect FWH in every respect.
Ten years later, he's out looking again. You bet I felt "strongly." There was no second guessing, no hesitation, no doubt....I was done and am unequivocally certain I will NOT change my mind.