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Is this reasonable?

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myeverafter posted 4/22/2014 15:12 PM

I don't know what even is a reasonable request these days.

Over Easter, I was telling my brother in law that due to fWH's new work schedule (7 days on and 7 days off), wFH can watch the kids this summer every other week. It will save us at least $600/month in daycare. My brother in law said that doesn't sound nice or fair. Then wFH won't have any days off on his own. I wanted to scream that that is when wFH had the opportunity to have his affair in the first place.

I have enough vacation time to take off probably every Friday so we can go camping as a family. He will also go golfing one evening on his week off also. So fWH will get some free time also.

One part of me wishes I would have been "meaner" earlier. fWH has always had at least 1 day off during the week without kids. I always work M-F so I have never got the day off by myself.

ladycody posted 4/22/2014 16:51 PM

Ugh...am sorry. Kids are not "babysat" by their parents...it's very simply called BEING A PARENT....and there is nothing unfair or unreasonable about it. It's what we do when we have children...and if the commitment to watching over them as they grow is a problem...one shouldn't bother having them. Your BIL is quite frankly being a butt. It doesnt sound like you expect him to be a cinderella with no time to enjoy adult/sans kids time factored in...you are just asking that he be a parent....you slave driver you. My husband knows full well that whomever is free and available is the primary caregiver of the moment...when we are both available. ..it is a shared position. We squeeze in adult time when possible...it's how parenting works...and hopefully that's how your husband views it and doesnt mind to fulfilling his role. Ignore your BIL...(((hugs)))

IWantDoOver posted 4/22/2014 17:09 PM

due to fWH's new work schedule (7 days on and 7 days off), wFH can watch the kids this summer every other week. It will save us at least $600/month in daycare.

If you have 50/50 custody, then this is certainly reasonable.

Better get a summer custody agreement in writing from fWH before you "spend" the $600, though.

SisterMilkshake posted 4/22/2014 17:55 PM

Please take some of the money you save on childcare and use it to get a sitter on the weekend your fWH is home/off for you to spend some quality, kids free time together. That would be an investment with a good payoff!

Kids are not "babysat" by their parents...it's very simply called BEING A PARENT..
Arrrggghhh! The attitude of your BIL is a pet peeve of mine and I totally agree with ladycody. Why is the mother always the default parent? Fathers should have exactly the same position as a mother... a parent. Fathers should also be accorded the same position in courts because I feel it is still biased against the fathers.

eta: Oh, I forgot to answer your topic question. Of course it is reasonable. It is common sense. It will be good for your children and good for your fWH.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 5:57 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)]

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