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Is it bad to email thoughts/feelings to your WS?

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heartbroken2012 posted 4/22/2014 15:53 PM

I just sent an email to my Wh...just venting really. Telling him my trigger and my sad painful feelings at the moment.

He will get angry or not read it or get frustrated that I am "living in the past", but if I cant share my feelings with him...who can I share them with?

Sparkle0504 posted 4/22/2014 16:06 PM

I have emailed my SAWH many, many times and he's only read a couple. Part of his massive denial...

A remorseful WS owning their shit will read everything and act accordingly. We're pretty much in the endgame here - I'm done.

It's hard, but you need to express your feelings face to face. It's gone on too long for me, to be bothered with it any more. I let him rugsweep far too much. Don't, please don't, make the same mistake.

IWantDoOver posted 4/22/2014 16:18 PM

but if I cant share my feelings with him...who can I share them with?

That begs the question: Who are the people who make up your support system, heartbroken2012?

Do you have all your eggs in one basket? Or do you engage with a strong social network?

Deeply Scared posted 4/22/2014 16:23 PM

heartbroken2012...

Going off the title of your thread.

I do feel emailing/texting such emotional topics usually leads to mis-understandings and fights that can be avoided. When you're on the receiving end of a vent about what you've done, it's extremely hard to not get defensive.

Instead of emailing a vent to him, why not email him and set up a time to sit down and talk face to face with him? Your feelings are valid and need to be released and heard...but I highly encourage you to do it face to face where words aren't mis-understood and tones and facial expressions can be seen and heard.

sisoon posted 4/22/2014 16:24 PM

Why did you use email?

The danger in using email is that you can't communicate tone of voice or body language in an email, and that opens it to easy misinterpretation. It's better, IMO, to share feelings and vent face-to-face.

Nature_Girl posted 4/22/2014 16:34 PM

I wouldn't necessarily characterize it as bad. Or good. My thoughts are along the lines of IWantDoOver. Do you have others that you can share with as well? It is unhealthy to only have your husband as your outlet. I learned this the hard way.

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