We are 18 months out from D-Day. My WH had a LTA of over 8 years. We are attempting R, he is currently a model husband if I play nice and avoid any mention of the A. Obviously, this is neither satisfactory or sustainable, but for various reasons (we live overseas) I have to carry on for the moment, but my heart is not in it.
Reading through some old mails of his today I found the following from an old girlfriend (not OW)sent to him after he had attended a class reunion several years ago.
"Please write to me on this, my work mail, as my family read my private mail. How about you, do your family have access to your hotmail?
I am so upset that you just disappeared on Saturday, although maybe it was for the best as the chemistry between us was amazing.
I would love to meet with you, call me or write.
Lots of love, J "
There follows a further exchange of five e-mails within the next week and then nothing more. His replies are frankly innocent, he chats about me and the children and asks to her family and husband. Hers continue to refer to a desire to meet up, and in one she actually tells him when she is away on holiday, noting that she has kept some holiday in reserve and asking when he is off work!
I am staying because of the enormous financial and logistical difficulties involved in splitting up whilst living overseas. I was hoping to last another year, until our youngest finishes school. However, this is a deal breaker for me. If this is a pattern of behaviour I dont have the energy to deal with it any more and I will have to cut and run regardless.
I have confronted him and he insists, very convincingly that there was no relationship. I feel, however that for the woman to be so brazen, that he must at least have behaved inappropriately (flirting, kissing ...., if not worse)
Even though it is not recent I feel I would like to contact her and call her out on her behaviour. I suppose I am hoping that she will spill the beans. Should I just ask her outright if they have had a relationship, or is it crazy to contact her at all as it was not recent?
Your thoughts are welcomed.