WW almost has everything out of the home, lawyer is starting to get papers in order, I'm am close to complete emotional no contact, just business talk and we are staying amicable and working together.
Here's hoping that the process continues to proceed this way. I'm trying to work hard at this transition and I will honestly say so is she.
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so."
When the lows come, continue to put them out here. Same with the highs for that matter. You're going to be fine. *fistbump*
Norabird - Thanks too! I'll keep the crafty word jumbles coming!
I do feel I am in a better place each day. I think for me it is accomplishing small little goals day by day. Doing as much of the 180 that I can, getting appointments completed, being civil with my WW, gaining power from my DD all help with my resilience and recovery.
There are kids involved and we are working together to put our DD first when making all decisions.
Thanks everyone for the support!
I'm so glad you're feeling better. You are inspiring to me for no emotional contact. I'm finding that hard.
Way to go! :)
I found myself this week also not checking my phone every five minutes to see if she had contacted me, or if she read my last text message, etc. I still check occasionally, but it is becoming much rarer. I try and keep my cell in a different room, so I am not tempted. I've distanced myself with trying to know what she is doing all the time. I've stopped asking questions that would usually just inflict pain onto me. I was doing that a ton. Essentially, I was punishing myself by engaging in those conversations. Slowly but surely I am finding that I am getting to a better place. Don't get me wrong, I am still guarded and cautious with all this. I don't want to be unrealistic and think things are going great and then get hit in the face with something unexpected. I am just trying to embrace the idea of focusing on myself, taking care of my DD and knowing that life moves on and so will I.
Just trying to keep this momentum going for now...
I am still leaps and bounds ahead of where I was a week ago, however I just hit one of those crappy reality checks tonight.
Your right on the "firsts" . I think your big one was when she moved out. I look forward to that here (couple weeks or so). Seems there is a real chance at emotional closure then. Did you find that so or was it gut wrenching. I am not sure what it will feel like watching her drive away.
Stay strong bro. Everyday is getting easier, even with today's crappy experience.
Once she signed a lease somewhere, I said well that answers my question.
I will never ever ever thank my stbxww for that, but in a way, it was a gift. She did the same (sign a lease) which is when I had to push her off the fence. As much as it hurt, at least I had direction.
She decided to leave. That gave me permission to move on for myself.
Remember when I said you were an inspiration? Well, let me repeat that. When you have bad days, look back on the strength you show in this post. You're going to be fine. Stay strong.
Today another first happened with this transition. It was a big one and I handled it really well I felt. I tried to remove emotion from the situation and just get what I needed to get done. I am starting to tell myself, not always successfully, that I just need to get through the moment. If the emotion is too much, I put it to the side temporarily, but I'll come back to it after getting done with my task. I used to repress my emotions a lot, which actually made me appear emotionless. That is one of the major things I am trying to change. I'm getting better at it every day.
Because things in our M are really not as ambiguous as they were before, I am finding that to be the biggest relief (as I stated before). It still sucks really bad at times, but I don't really have the lingering thought in my head that she is going to want to come back. When she closed her door, I closed mine.
I am just trying to focus on what is going to be best for our DD. Sometimes I feel like she is not, but I can't control that. If I didn't have a DD in this situation it would make things easier in some ways, but my DD provides me so much relief and escape as well. It is a catch 22. I just draw a lot of my strength from her.
I came across a great quote today from a book I am reading...
"Help me be open to and learn what I need to be learning. Help me trust that it can and will be good."