Generally, these are not enforceable in court. They are considered civil issues, so just keep that in mind when "deciding".
EX and I stated no overnight visitors if kids were in the house. We also agreed to inform the other person if there was a serious relationship and that person was going to meet the children so we could handle as a united front.
No moving in unless married.
So… 3 years later, how much of that do you think EX stuck to? Yup, none of it.
I just let ex do whatever the hell he wanted. I knew the kids would see him for what he is…and this allows me (when the time is right, obviously) to appropriately handle my own relationships. I will introduce when I think it is appropriate, etc.
For example, I took a hard approach to my kids never meeting guys I date. But, now, I think it is appropriate for them to KNOW I date. so, my last SO came and picked me up for a date while the kids were home. It shows how I expect to be treated by a man I am dating, and teaches the kids what is appropriate in a dating relationship. It was like almost 2.5 months in before SO came to pick me up for dinner, briefly said hi to the kids and we left. Then kids and I talked about it. Two years ago I would never have considered doing that.
So, my point, over time your feelings will change.
[This message edited by cmego at 6:58 AM, April 23rd (Wednesday)]