Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: LoneRaven (61770)

User Topic: first run in with OW since Dday
♀ 37658
Member # 37658
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay. I was expecting this to happen. I had planned to act like I knew nothing because OW does not know that I know about the A. I decided keeping it that way would be best.

I pulled it off. Acted like nothing was out of place. Didn't even hate her. I did get a rush of adrenaline which made my hands shake a little bit but I had time to compose myself before we had to talk.

After, I was fine. It was so weird. I had thought I might crumple and cry when I got home, but I didn't. Some part of me thinks I have not really dealt with the fact that I was nice and polite to the woman who had sex with my husband.

Of course, I told H about it as soon as I got home and he was more upset than me. Because he had put me in that spot. But I felt better and better as the night went on because I had met her and talked to her and I didn't give anything away. It felt a little empowering, if that makes sense.

I am still not sure my mind has really dealt with it as well as I think I have. So far so good, though.

me BS
him WH
his A was in 2001, DDay confession 9/5/2012

Posts: 115 | Registered: Nov 2012
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in that position once. I take heart and great satisfaction in the fact that I didn't reveal anything to her. Knowledge is power, and since she lacks knowledge of what /Iyou know, I think our ows are at a disadvantage, at least theoretically.

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 17017 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you handled yourself exceptionally well. Really good job on keeping your composure, not giving away info, and ultimately taking the high road.

Posts: 30662 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 3

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.