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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: first run in with OW since Dday
♀ 37658
Member # 37658
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay. I was expecting this to happen. I had planned to act like I knew nothing because OW does not know that I know about the A. I decided keeping it that way would be best.

I pulled it off. Acted like nothing was out of place. Didn't even hate her. I did get a rush of adrenaline which made my hands shake a little bit but I had time to compose myself before we had to talk.

After, I was fine. It was so weird. I had thought I might crumple and cry when I got home, but I didn't. Some part of me thinks I have not really dealt with the fact that I was nice and polite to the woman who had sex with my husband.

Of course, I told H about it as soon as I got home and he was more upset than me. Because he had put me in that spot. But I felt better and better as the night went on because I had met her and talked to her and I didn't give anything away. It felt a little empowering, if that makes sense.

I am still not sure my mind has really dealt with it as well as I think I have. So far so good, though.

me BS
him WH
his A was in 2001, DDay confession 9/5/2012

Posts: 110 | Registered: Nov 2012
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in that position once. I take heart and great satisfaction in the fact that I didn't reveal anything to her. Knowledge is power, and since she lacks knowledge of what /Iyou know, I think our ows are at a disadvantage, at least theoretically.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10758 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you handled yourself exceptionally well. Really good job on keeping your composure, not giving away info, and ultimately taking the high road.

Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy-maker in the world. I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins!

Posts: 8268 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 3

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