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General :
so what...is there some OW playbook they get to read?!

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 Merida (original poster member #42437) posted at 9:48 PM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Now what is the benefit of posting pics from over 2 years ago on your FB page? Just proves he left her...

and why is she denying to have a paternity test done? Makes no sense and I hope the judge thinks she's even more a whore for positioning her CS case this way =

of course she files that I am the problem. Father can have all the visitation he wants but wife is not to be present... but no, I don't want to confirm paternity with DNA, let's just use he signed the birth cert.

no duh he signed it = he's married (turns out she was too, but separated) and doesn't want to get outed

man, I swear = I really do not need the drama in my life right now. So is this how it generally goes when you go NC?

OW temper tantrum?? that's what it seems like

pay attention to me, pay attention to me

broken soul, I'm crying crocodile tears for the obvious ending you signed up for

"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."


"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."

posts: 1377   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Maryland
id 6770681
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wanttogoforward ( member #29912) posted at 11:13 PM on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

I honestly cannot see a judge refusing a DNA test if it is requested in court.... YOU BOTH have every right to demand one at any time... if she is refusing it is quite possible that child is not your H's.

And if the child is your H has equal rights as a parent to have the child in your home should the two of you agree on it. He, as long as he is not a criminal, should have unsupervised rights to see the child, and therefore if you want to see the child and interact it is your right by law as well. I seriously doubt if a judge would force supervised visitation and exclude you as his wife.

The OW is stupid! she needs to realize that IF this child is your H's she truly has LITTLE say in what happens while the child is with his/her father. She is a non entity when the child is with you and she better get used to it.

Get that paternity test asap!!

posts: 1308   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2010   ·   location: still lost
id 6770796
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steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 12:20 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

The only reason to refuse dna is that there's a good chance it's not his... But... In most states, the signed paper work is not legal if the the mother was married to someone else. I had been divorced for almost a year when my dd12 was born... Her father signed the paper... But my exH was legally the father until BOTH of them had DNA done.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

posts: 2303   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Kentucky
id 6770864
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Want2help ( member #20547) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

Yes, this is what Nc often looks like, it did for us. It depends on the OW how long it will last.

For us, it was 4 years of constant harassment (low-level that law enforcement would do nothing about), and now 3 more years of really petty stuff… OW following me on Pinterest and repinning family stuff at midnight on NYE, OW changing her profile pic to one taken during the affair WHILE OW and I are instant messaging one another regarding contact info for the attorney. REALLY petty stuff.

Just ignore, ignore, ignore. Take the high road, the view is nice from here.

ETA: OW also denied a paternity test, which we thought for certain meant it wasn't FWH's child (it was). I think it's often a pride thing.

[This message edited by Want2help at 8:05 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)]

FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.

Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point. His OC, my OC...

UPDATE: Divorcing after almost 20 years.

posts: 2588   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2008
id 6770984
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NoMorDeceit ( member #23547) posted at 3:32 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

You'll be able to be present. You are his wife. She is silly. I'd sue the bitch for custody, but I'm mean like that. Push for the DNA test too. She is just mad because he chose his wife. What a tool.

FBS
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled for 8 years. Decided I deserved better than someone who had ever cheated on me. R failed 2/2017. Happy and free. :)



posts: 1003   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2009
id 6771088
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 5:38 AM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

Yes, she doesn't get to call all the shots.like she thinks she does. So the pregnancy didn't get him, so now she's pulling a power trip by not wanting a pat test. If the child is his, she has no more right saying you can't be present during visits, than your ws has telling her she can't have whoever she's with around the child. Yes I think you called it right...ow temper tantrum

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6771185
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 Merida (original poster member #42437) posted at 4:46 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014

yah I'm resigned to thinking this is just her being on a power trip over the DNA and spinning me as the bad guy

we aren't doing the happy-together-after blended mess = been there done that with WH's first set of puppies and now I realize that's the trauma bond I had no idea was not resolved ... he totally traded his first wife bitch for this OW - pregnancy entrapment. It's freaky really it was like he got to relive it all again like how he got his first "girlfriend" (who he then married) pregnant

NC all the way and I hope for her sake and the health of that child that she takes the therapist advice that said the same thing - that boy needs a father not my husband, the possible sperm donor.

Plenty of kids grow up taken care of by great people who are not genetically related to them and I really hope she understands that's the most loving thing she can do for herself and her son = move on.

She and her son really need an only-about-them family that has nothing to do with biological roots accept to understand where his acne comes from later

but yah, cannot control anything other than my own thoughts... so fine I'm back to ignoring her tantrum

just like I tell my kids

I don't understand criney-whiney

"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."


"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."

posts: 1377   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Maryland
id 6771719
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