I contacted AP. It was the best thing I did the day after dday. I got details FWH would never have given me...and it prompted FWH to correct a lie he told me on dday.
Im sorry but..no. You should NOT feel he is being honest...not yet. he has been lying and cheating for 3 years..and 3 more months of TT? No. He has a very long way to go before you should give him any trust. That has to be earned back...through honest, consistent, and remorseful actions.
Also, please be very careful. Considering how long it took him to tell you the "entire truth," chances are you still don't have it all.
If OW didn't know he was married, then I would absolutely call her. I would be calm, and explain who I was. I would also tell her I have no issue with her, I just need the truth. (Of course, I am saying what *I* would say..you may hold her at fault also, which is your right.)
Chances are, if she truly didn't know he was/is married, she will be horrified for YOU and willing to give you the answers you need.
Im sorry, but it sounds to me as if he is scared she will tell you the truth. If she truly has no idea he is married, why would she be mean to you? If it was "just" a ONS for her, with a random guy, why would she be mean to his wife? him? Yeah, she probably will think he's a POS. But I can't imagine any single woman getting a call like that and not feeling empathy for the BW.
I'd contact her.
Hey....and welcome to SI.
ETA: I see you went through 2 years of false R with this man. The fact that he says he NOW has told you "everything" and that you should think he is being honest with you is very concerning. What work is he doing on himself? What is he doing to show you he wants to R?
[This message edited by confused615 at 4:39 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)]
M: June 2001
Status: Reconciled. Love my "new" husband!
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.