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amanda123 (original poster member #43207) posted at 1:54 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
He is angry with me I can see the way he speaks to me, I know he is suffering a loss because he has had her attention for such a long time.
UpInTheAirNow ( member #37777) posted at 1:58 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Welcome to SI.
Can you tell us more about what's going on.
Good for you standing up for yourself.
ME 47
WW 52
DDay 6/13/12
Separated 3/13 and NC for my own sanity.
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 1:58 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Im sorry he's being an ass.
Of course he has to go NC with her. She helped destroy your relationship.
As for his "loss?"
Boofuckinghoo.
Welcome to SI.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 2:01 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
I just read your profile.
Honey, Im sorry but I think he is still in the affair, He gave passwords, then changed them. He supposedly sent a NC email, but you have no idea because he deleted it. He refuses to talk about it and he is angry and unremorseful.
Please read the 180. You don't deserve this abuse.
Also, if she is still married, you need to call her husband and tell him. Offer any evidence you have. Don't tell your husband that you're calling her BH, just do it. He will warm OW if you tell him first. This is the single best thing you can do right now...expose this shit.
[This message edited by confused615 at 8:03 AM, April 24th (Thursday)]
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
UpInTheAirNow ( member #37777) posted at 2:36 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Ok I just read your profile so no need to put it out there again.
Up in the left corner is the healing library. It's an excellent resource. Read as much as you can. Sounds like he's in the fog.
ME 47
WW 52
DDay 6/13/12
Separated 3/13 and NC for my own sanity.
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.
molly5 ( member #43147) posted at 6:32 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
So sorry, I hope you find the answeres you need.
Me:38
WH:42
I will not let the anger change me, I am going to raise myself up and keep growing. To let the anger change me would be like they won!
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:03 AM on Friday, April 25th, 2014
Of course he's angry with you. You had the absolute audacity to shatter his fantasy world. After all, he had it all. You at home, running the home, keeping the family going, being his domestic and his little wifey backup plan B, while he also had the excitement of going out to seek sex from anyone he wanted to, to boost up his ego and try to spackle over the gaping hole in his soul and morals! Hell, you didn't play your "role," in his grand and glorious life! Now he has to face the reality of having shattered his marriage vows and his family, without having the feel-good option of sneaking off to his whores!
Of COURSE he's angry with you! You pulled reality right into his rainbow-fart world!
Please read The Healing Library which is located in the upper left corner in the yellow box. Read all posts on the first few pages of this forum that have red "targets" next to them. Schedule an appointment with your doctor and have a full STD/HIV panel of tests done. And don't touch him nor let him touch you until he's done the same and the doctor's office has given you the results. In all honesty, I would suggest detaching and seeing a lawyer to find out what your rights were, should you decide that his betrayal is far too much for you to stomach.
But know that you don't have to make one decision right now, except to nurture yourself and take care of only you. Please come back often for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
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