[This message edited by funnyguy at 9:01 AM, April 24th (Thursday)]
May be time to push her off?
It would be harmful to the kids to have parents keep appearing and disappearing, packing and unpacking, leaving, coming, going.....
And she made this mess, you should not have to leave your home because of it.
And it is you who needs to decide if you still want her not the other way around. As of now there is not a marriage there is a WS keeping her options open with you. You deserve better than that. Your kids deserve better than that.
Hugs to you funnyguy, you are living in a painful situation and you deserve better.
Push her off the fence.
Decide just how much you want to take of this. Do what YOU want.
No way I would leave my house personally. If she wants space she should figure out how to get it for herself without disturbing you. Time to stop letting this situation revolve around her. She should not be driving the train, you should be IMO.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
I don't like the idea at all
Trust your gut!
Different arrangements work for different people but I agree with you....this sounds like a cluster####.
I would be very careful what you consent to as it sets precedent for the future.
She either wants the marriage or she doesn't. She doesn't need to separate to figure it out.
Since YOU don't like this idea then DO NOT go along with it. You're just giving her more power over the situation if you go along with this. Tell her it's unacceptable to you.
My H used that line on me before I knew anything was going on with him and the mow but I was very suspicious about it. I told him he was either in the M or out and if he wanted to separate then I'd just file for D. He changed his mind about separating but continued his adultery on the sly. Keep your eyes wide open.
[This message edited by twisted at 12:36 PM, April 24th (Thursday)]
In any case, no matter who did what, you need to negotiate what you'll actually do. If she wants to leave, you can't imprison her. If you want to stay, she can't force you out.
If you can't come to an agreement on your own, I'd say it's time for a lawyer. In fact, it may be time for a lawyer now, even before you hit an impasse. Forcing her to make up her mind now may make her choose D. Of course, bringing in a lawyer may result in kicking the WS out.