Hi, Btrayedby2, I am so sorry you are here. No, you are not a bad wife! I am sooo sick of these excuses, there is NO excuse!
When children come, life changes. Most of the focus should be on the children, they are helpless and depend on TWO parents. If he had an issue, he could have communicated to you, set up date nights, taken some of the load off of your shoulders, made YOU feel appreciated.
Um, no, he needs IC as well....to figure out why he felt it was ok to cheat. Needing ego strokes, validation? And with a friend, no less? Is she married? If the MC places any blame on you, drop him/her like a hot potato. A good MC will make sure he OWNS his actions.
In the meantime, do the best to take care of YOU! You have young children who need a stable parent. Eat as best as you can, stay hydrated, and exercise. Meet your girlfriends for lunch, get your nails done. Anything to give you a reprieve from your thoughts.
Is he remorseful? Is he accountable for his whereabouts? Is he transparent giving you access to all email accounts, social media, cell phone, etc? He has to understand he has dropped a nuclear bomb on your lives, and the fallout will take YEARS to fix. He has to be willing to be in this 200%. Don't accept blame for his actions, he is an adult...he had other choices, cheating is NEVER an option.
((((Btrayedby2)))
Please check out the Healing Library in the upper left-hand corner. Chock full of great articles that will help you process this nightmare.
Edited to add: Please make an appt. with your doctor and get tested for stds.
[This message edited by annb at 11:23 AM, April 24th (Thursday)]