Hi all - I'm alive and well! Although I haven't posted recently I have been reading comments on my thread (and other threads, too!). Life has been very busy lately and I haven't had the time or energy to compose a thoughtful entry.
I'm actually in a pretty good place right now. Physically, emotionally and mentally I arrived at a measure of peace with the idea of filing for divorce. Then, out of nowhere, she started making signs of wanting to reconcile. For the first time I'm feeling empowered. Three months ago I probably would have grasped onto anything she might have offered me. Now, because I was ready to move on anyway, I'm in a position to decide whether our needs and wants are mutually compatible. With a lot of help from friends both here and IRL I have finally realized there IS a life waiting for me on the far side of whatever happens in the short term.
Other news - it's a boy. Obviously, the circumstances are far from ideal. Yet I can honestly say that I'm excited that my sons will have a little brother who will be their little brother long after I'm gone from this earth. I'm starting to see real signs from my WW that she is really considering what is best for the kids rather than just herself. I hope that continues no matter what happens to the marriage.
Mods - there's no need for this thread to take on a life of its own in parallel to main one. I'll copy this post onto the other thread.