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Newest Member: kenja (46021)

User Topic: Working with ex update
Angeles85
♀ 42107
Member # 42107
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok 111 days after DDAY, I tried to follow the advice I received here regarding work environment. He was trying to manipulate/control me saying I destroyed his life, saying he was using drugs, crying, etc. I ignored him and every time he tried to talk to me about all this nonsense at work I would simply say "Sorry, I am working and I'm busy" and I stopped answering his texts, too.
After he realized I was not going to put up with his crazy controlling ways he got really upset and he started ignoring me at work. This is good but we have to communicate at least once a day, so this was really affecting my job. So I finally spoke to my boss about it. He understood and we had a meeting together. My boss told us that he knew it was a very uncomfortable situation for both of us and he asked my ex to respect my decision of ending the relationship and that he should tried to be professional.
However, my boss was really sympathetic towards him, he said men are more fragile when a relationship ends, that he was a good looking/smart men that could easily find a new girl. It might be due to the fact that I spoke to him very lightly about the relationship(which I thought was the right way because I wanted to remain professional, of course I didn't want to cry in front of him.)
Ok, so after the meeting my boss asked me why I ended the relationship and I couldn't stop myself, I told him everything sooo he told me all men cheat, that the sooner I accepted that the better for me, that my problem was that I had "0" tolerance. Also, he said that if I didn't want to be cheated on, next time I should go for a mediocre man that no other women would be attracted to. I told him this was the third time he cheated on me and that I will NEVER accept a cheating man and that I would prefer to be by myself for the rest of my life.
I just felt terrible, no empathy for me. Pretty much he told me my ex is a great guy who would have no problem finding a new girl but he made me feel hopeless.
I try to convince myself this is not true, not all men are cheaters and that one day I will find a good guy. Thanks for reading....

[This message edited by Angeles85 at 12:11 PM, April 25th (Friday)]


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Los Angeles
DeadMumWalking
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTF???? This boss is a real nutcase.

Maybe he should read the pain dripping from BH here (would be a waste I guess, he sounds like the type that wouldn't get it).

I'm sorry you are stuck in this toxic environment.

((((Angeles85))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Tearsoflove
♀ 8271
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just can't work for people I don't respect. I could never work for your boss. Is there someone higher than him because his sexist comments are not helpful or conducive to you and your ex working together. His sympathy for your ex is pathetic and says a lot about his character.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4306 | Registered: Sep 2005
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Angeles))))) Unbelievable bullshit. Is there an HR department where you work?


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26469 | Registered: Aug 2011
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Your boss is an unprofessional asshole. Maybe next time (as you're turning in your resignation after you've found a better job), ask this douche canoe if his ass ever gets jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of his mouth.

2. WTF??

he told me all men cheat, that the sooner I accepted that the better for me, that my problem was that I had "0" tolerance. Also, he said that if I didn't want to be cheated on, next time I should go for a mediocre man that no other women would be attracted to.

If this guy's words were representative of all men, I'd be taking a knife to my junk immediately. I can very, very much tell you that is all complete and utter bullshit, and I'm ashamed to share the pronoun "he" with this asshat. I have NEVER cheated on any woman, period, and I know there are plenty of other men like me. I may not make any magazine covers, but I know I'm above "mediocre" in the looks department, and at multiple times in my life I have been the interest of more than one woman at a time. Difference, again, is I STILL NEVER CHEATED! Yes, I could have, but real men have honor.

I hope you have an HR team there that doesn't consist of people who share your bosses sentiments.

[This message edited by MadeOfScars at 3:13 PM, April 25th (Friday)]


"Donít let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone." - Taylor Caldwell

Posts: 1394 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. Your boss is a real POS. Does his wife know his opinions?!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If your boss is not a WS himself, I'll eat my hat.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3559 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Angeles85
♀ 42107
Member # 42107
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank u guys for the quick response...knowing that I wasn't wrong when I thought he was being an a$$. He is the owner of the company and yes I'm planning to go back to school this year and hopefully at the end of the year I will hopefully find a new job. I have been working for this guy for 8 years and he has been a good boss but I wasn't expecting this. I don't want to be a victim or that people show pity on me but I at least some empathy for a really hard working employee that has been so loyal for his company for 8 years but anyways my ex has been working here for 10 so I guess he deserves better than me according to my boss. He is a cheating husband himself and his wife accepts him like that or so he says.

Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Los Angeles
Angeles85
♀ 42107
Member # 42107
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sparky you were right, forget the hat
Madeof scars. Thank you for your words, I really hope I can find a man like you one day, you gave so much hope, thanks again.
Deadmomwalking, tearsoflove, nowiknow23, norabid THANK YOU for the support :)

Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Los Angeles
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your boss is an idiot.

As a man who has NEVER cheated in any relationship EVER I would like to tell you that I am positive I am not the only one. There are loyal men out there so don't settle or write us all off just yet.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1940 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Dagny07
♀ 16928
Member # 16928
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is a cheating husband himself and his wife accepts him like that or so he says.

When you give in your notice, make sure you contact his wife for her wisdom and guidance on how she accepts her husband's cheating.


Me:BW Him: FWH E/A
M: 29 years, together 36 : both guilty of PAs 20+ years ago
CDay#1 Oct 06 (false); DDay#2 Oct 07 (truth from OW's BH)
R: Tenaciously optimistic

Posts: 838 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Midwest
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, April 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew he was a cheater. Cheaters lie, blame shift and eat lots of cake.

What a jerk.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Topic Posts: 12

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